Hello, Bright Side,
My daughter recently got engaged and immediately asked me to cover her entire wedding. I told her, “I already helped you get the house.” I put a lot of money into her down payment, and she never had a problem taking that.
She laughed and called me cheap. She said, “You’ll die before you ever use all that money anyway.” It honestly hurt. I didn’t argue—I just said no.
For context, I also have a stepdaughter. Although she isn’t my daughter by blood, she’s always respected me, never demanded anything from me, and we’re pretty close.
After the way my daughter spoke to me, I decided I wasn’t going to fund anything for her wedding. I moved the “wedding money” I actually had into my stepdaughter’s tuition account. She didn’t ask for it—I just felt better helping someone who treats me decently.
My daughter found out and went ballistic, yelling that I had “chosen her over me,” “ruined her life,” and “destroyed her wedding.” Later, her fiancé called and said she was threatening to cancel the whole wedding because he couldn’t pay for the kind of wedding she wanted. He asked me to help.
I told him I’m done. If they can’t afford a big wedding, they can make it smaller. If they don’t want a small wedding, they can wait and save.
Yes, I’m her father, but that doesn’t mean I have to fund everything she wants, no matter how she treats me.
Jason
When did we stop caring about saying vows in from of our loved ones and friends. Weddings are suppose to be a sworn oath btw the bride, groom amd Creator. Not some flashy spectacle for social media and bragging rights. "I'm not getting married bc I ain't getting what I want"!!! Wow, what a pick buddy! Good luck with that one! She don't want a wedding she wants a glitzy fancy party she can't afford. Think hard b4 u take that oath with Creator.
Your daughter's fiancee is better off without her. She's more into money and what it can buy than she is into people (including close family and her future husband). Your money is better off with your stepdaughter's college money. At least it's going to something very worth while.
Don't blame you one little bit. She sounds like an entitled little b that thinks that the world owes her every thing. Let her save her own money and pay for it herself. Maybe one day she will learn to respect those around her and start doing things for herself. Not likely but there's always hope.
How did she find out about the tuition your stephdaughter got? Someone must have told her, who?
Good for you!!!! Don't cater to that entitled bitch.
Slap her HARDER! Tell her she won't get any inheritance and her house will taken from her, tell her she have a month before she get kicked out from her home.
If he gifted her the money he can't do anything to her home as he's not on the deed to the house. You dont always have to go extreme with everything. He can tell her no more handouts and move on with his life. He doesnt need to completely destroy the relationship with his only child. What if he wants to have a relationship with any possible future grandchildren?
Here you cant favour one kid from another, gift who is over an certain sum are not aloved, if so you would give the exact sum to your stephdaughter too...bh the way: if you are married or live together with the mother of your stephdaughter you cant just give away what you two has earned together. The stephdaughter has her right too
What is wrong with you? All your comments are so hateful!
Because if someone who get abused don't make solid stand and do revenge, they will get abused until they dead. ((She said, “You’ll die before you ever use all that money anyway.”)) she already cursing her own father to be dead early. Is that good or bad is your own choice if it happens to you. ☠️☠️
Have the wedding that you can afford. Just keep reminding them that they wouldn't have their house without you. Which is for a lifetime, not a day. Which is important only to them, soon forgotten by all others.
And giving it to your stepdaughter's tuition, quietly? Awesome.
Dear Jason,
Yep, family finances are the only place where love, duty, and entitlement form a messy emotional soup. Let’s break this down.
1. Entitlement isn’t love—it’s a learned behavior.
Your daughter didn’t suddenly wake up one morning thinking, “I deserve a luxury wedding funded by Dad.” This is a learned pattern. She’s reacting from expectation, not appreciation. And your refusal threatens her worldview more than her wedding plans.
2. Weddings are optional. Financial responsibility is not.
Here’s the reality: a wedding is a celebration, not a right. Starting a marriage with massive spending is a choice—and not always a wise one. You offered the most reasonable advice any parent could give:
If you can’t afford a big wedding, make it smaller—or save until you can. That’s financially responsible adulthood.
3. Money follows respect—and you redirected yours correctly.
You didn’t “choose” your stepdaughter over your daughter. You chose fairness over entitlement. Your stepdaughter treated you with respect. You responded in kind.
And, yes. You’re absolutely right: Being a father gives your daughter emotional rights—not unlimited financial claims. Boundaries feel like betrayal to people who benefit from you not having any.
Calmly repeat: “I love you, and I’m here emotionally. But I won’t be financing this wedding. That is my final decision.”
And if she decides to cancel a whole marriage over decorations and catering upgrades... well... that’s a data point her fiancé should deal with.
You handled this like a grown adult, not an ATM with legs.
Warmly,
Bright Side
In another case we received, a woman spoke up after a coworker kept tossing out her lunch, thinking she was just addressing a simple office issue. Instead, that tiny moment snowballed into a company-wide rule change that pushed her into the spotlight: I Confronted My Coworker During Lunch—HR’s Response Shocked Me.
You are AWESOME, INTELLIGENT, THOUGHTFUL, and SENSIBLE. Getting dressed up for the day in an outfit you only wear once, just to show off to your friends, relatives and in laws is the height of irresponsibility. Especially when your parents ALREADY HELPED YOU GET A HOUSE. If she doesn't see that now, she probably never will. Your stepdaughter, however, seems that she is appreciative and smart. Your faith in her will not go unrewarded or unnoticed. I pray for you that your daughter smartens up, before she loses what little she has left with you.
I agree with Cheryl. And, Sir, you've already earned my respect and I don't even know you. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. Unfortunately, the younger generations I feel are out of touch with reality and becoming more entitled in general. Good for you for standing your ground and trying to enforce a meaningful lesson.
And to think if she hadn't been such a spoiled little brat she would have at least gotten the money that was in her wedding fund. But she had to keep pushing and now she doesn't even get that, but her stepsister is going to get an education that'll last her lifetime.
