I Found a Secret Letter That Warned Me About Who My Boyfriend Truly Is

It's always wonderful to see women supporting each other, whether they're close friends or complete strangers. In this story, one woman left a secret letter for her ex’s new girlfriend, offering a heads-up based on her own experiences with him. The new girlfriend was surprised and shared it on Reddit, where the community responded with overwhelming support. This simple act of solidarity shows how a small gesture can resonate deeply with people online.

The woman shared her story in a Reddit post.

She wrote, "My boyfriend, Steve, and I have been together for 2 years and have been living together for the past 8 months. While cleaning our apartment one day, I stumbled upon a hidden letter tucked away in the back of a cabinet. It read:

She continued her story, saying, "After reading the letter, I decided to show it to him to see how he’d react. The moment I handed it to him, he ripped it to pieces and told me not to believe a word of it, saying she was just crazy and unreliable. I told him that the fact he hadn’t found the letter in the 5 years since their breakup was a huge red flag for me. It clearly shows he’s never cleaned that spot, and he’s been slacking off on his cleaning duties even more since I moved in.

He insisted that this was just his ex trying to manipulate him and ruin his life again and that I was letting her succeed. We kept arguing along the same lines, and eventually, I decided to leave and spend the night at a friend’s place.

Honestly, Steve’s been a good boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family and surprises me with gifts and flowers. He always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the whole cleaning thing hasn’t been a big deal before. But the note made me realize that he’s been cleaning less and less lately. It got me thinking that we need to have a proper talk about this."

Then the woman explained: "He texted me afterward, apologizing that I felt I had to leave, but he said it was wrong of me to prioritize a note over our 2-year relationship and to just leave him and our pets like that. I'm really confused and don't know what to think or believe right now. I'm even considering reaching out to Natalia to hear her side of the story.

Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, saying his past shouldn't affect our future. He made it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I'm not sure what to trust.

When we first moved in together 8 months ago, we split the cleaning duties 50/50. But since then, he's been doing less and less around the house. I have to remind him to do basic things like bringing his plates to the sink or taking out the trash. I never had to do this before. The dishes will sit there until I do them, and it's gotten so bad that he's even left food to mold on the plates."

She asked people online for some advice before going ahead with her plan.

"I'm not a confrontational person, so I'd just ask him to take care of things as they came up. But that letter made me think more deeply about it and try to have an honest discussion. I admit I didn’t feel he was listening when I brought it up," she added.

She continued, "I used the letter as a way to talk about the cleaning situation, but he got completely hung up on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him. He wouldn’t acknowledge what I felt was valid. He thinks I'm letting the letter give me a 'confirmation bias,' so now he believes that no matter what he says, I'll always think he's wrong.

I didn't leave him permanently. All of this happened just yesterday, and I only stayed at a friend’s place for one night because our conversation wasn't going anywhere, and he wouldn't let me sleep until I let it go. I'm planning to return today, but I wanted to get some advice and feedback before I do."

Other Redditors offered her support and gave some insights.

• “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
  Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?”
  I’d leave your note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, and see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit

• It sounds like everything she warned you about in the note came true. He had never cleaned there, he didn't listen to your concerns, and he turned it back around on you and somehow made it your fault. Red flag honestly. © gem1n-eye / Reddit

• Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex's assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up.
  Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit

• It seems like Natalia was spot on with her note. The fact his only defense was “she’s crazy” tells me that, if you break up with him over his behavior, he’ll be telling his next girlfriend that you are “crazy, manipulative, and petty”. If you do decide to leave him, write your note for his next girlfriend and make sure to add: “4-He will tell you all his exes were crazy and will add you to that list when you leave him.” © Princess-Pancake-97 / Reddit

• It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: 'Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.' That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3.
  But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit

When trust gets broken in a relationship, it can cause a lot of emotional chaos, leaving people feeling confused and unsure about everything. In one case, a husband accidentally found out about his wife’s secret Google account, and it flipped his life upside down. You can read his story here.