I Missed My Daughter Giving Birth, and Now She Doesn’t Want to Talk to Me

Becoming a parent or a grandparent doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and everyone learns as they go. It’s essential to remember that grandparents are not just caregivers but individuals seeking to enjoy life and new experiences. Sometimes, this can lead to conflicts, as illustrated by the stories of grandparents taking a vacation that coincided with their daughter’s labor.

While it may be challenging to predict such situations, there are valuable lessons to be learned by both grandparents and parents from this story.

• Just as parents must learn to be parents, grandparents must adapt to their new role. The arrival of a grandchild can strengthen the relationship between parents and children, but that doesn’t mean that everyone is available to help family members around the clock. As the family grows, roles change, which can be great. Still, everyone needs a process of adaptation. You must be patient and try to redistribute responsibilities evenly.
• We all deserve a break. A parent never stops being a parent; however, as children grow up and become independent, they also have the right to indulge themselves, travel, and have new experiences without feeling that everything may hang in the balance if they are not there 24/7. Never take people’s help for granted, regardless of who they are. Even the people who are genuinely willing to help may not be able to be there for you if circumstances don’t allow it. Look for other alternatives.

• Family stereotypes are constantly changing. Just as today’s mothers are not the same as 20 years ago, neither are grandparents. It’s increasingly common for grandparents to develop activities unrelated to their family. They will accompany and support all family members in the best way possible, but they also don’t want to lose the chance to enjoy their freedom. They want to enjoy a new learning stage. And that should also be allowed to be done freely.
• Companionship rejuvenates. Just as new parents need grandparents, new grandparents also need their family for their own health. For grandparents, feeling accompanied, enjoying their grandchildren and sharing moments is important to feel useful, vital, raise their self-esteem, and break routines.

• Mothers need a lot of support during labor. Many mothers may feel uneasy about labor, especially first-time mothers or women who have experienced issues in the past. So, whatever your involvement is, try to offer your support and encouragement, regardless of your situation.
• Companionship can benefit pregnancy management. Studies suggest that the support of pregnant women’s partners and family members acts directly or indirectly as a buffer against negative thoughts and insecurities. So, it is important not to dismiss a pregnant woman’s fears and discomfort. Please heed what she says and make her feel accompanied and heard.
• Be patient. As emotions and schedules adapt to a new reality for new parents, many beliefs about caring for a baby can conflict. No one owns the truth, there is advice that may be outdated or unnecessary, as well as small parenting mistakes we can all make. No one gets a diploma to be a parent, you learn by doing.

Spending quality time together can be mutually beneficial for both grandparents and grandchildren.

Numerous studies have explored the dynamics of relationships between grandparents and their grandchildren. One of these studies indicates that people who actively care for their grandchildren have a 37% lower mortality risk than adults of the same age without caregiving responsibilities. Research by the University of Oxford underscores the significant role grandparents play in their grandkids’ well-being. Additionally, children with a high degree of grandparental involvement tend to experience fewer emotional and behavioral issues.

Having children presents new parents with unfamiliar challenges and dilemmas that they may have never encountered before in their lives. During this time, family support becomes especially crucial, particularly for a pregnant woman who may find herself in a vulnerable position.