I Refuse to Give My Pregnant Coworker VIP Treatment—She’s Not a Queen

20 hours ago

I’ve always believed in supporting my coworkers, but when support turns into being taken advantage of, it’s a different story. When my teammate told us she was pregnant, the whole office started treating her like royalty. I think she needs a reality check.

Hi Bright Side and readers! Yes, I am aware that pregnancy is hard. At first, I was genuinely happy for my pregnant coworker. I’d bring her lunch when she felt sick and grab her files from the printer. No big deal—I figured it was a short-term situation.

But soon, she started dumping her work on me, leaving little notes like, “Baby brain today! Would you mind helping?” At first, I thought she was joking. But the messages kept coming—nearly every day. When I gently asked her to stop, she just laughed. When I didn’t shrug it off, she took a deep breath. Her excuse? “I’m feeling sick, you’ll understand when you’re pregnant.” How do I even respond to that? So I just kept quiet and walked away.

Being pregnant doesn’t mean you’re entitled to being treated like royalty.

I thought the situation might get better, but nope. One morning, I walked into the office and saw her sitting at my desk. She smiled and said, “Sorry, I needed more space near the window. It helps with the nausea. I wanted to inform you, but I couldn’t reach you.” I was stunned. She had just taken over my spot without asking.

When she went to lunch, I left a sticky note on her new desk that said, “Please meet me after work. This isn’t okay.” She never came. Instead, she sent an email to our manager, calling my note passive-aggressive.

Things got worse for me.

The truth is, I’m not heartless. I understand that pregnancy comes with real challenges. But there’s a line between needing support and using your situation to avoid responsibilities. And that line was crossed—over and over again.

Things hit a new low. Later, HR called me suddenly into a meeting. She was there too. I thought we’d have a fair conversation. But, my jaw dropped when he asked me to apologize. He said my tone was unkind, that my sticky note made her feel unsafe, and that I needed to be more understanding “during this sensitive time in a woman’s life.” I was speechless.

When I got back to my desk, which I was told I had to give up temporarily, I realized something worse than being moved: I had been completely iced out. My team stopped talking to me. Even coworkers I used to eat lunch with were avoiding me. One of them whispered, “You shouldn’t have upset her—she’s pregnant.” Just like that, I became the office villain. Is asking for basic manners such a big deal? Should I let someone walk all over me just because she is pregnant? I’d appreciate any advice.

Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience. First, please remember this: setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re not cold or cruel just because you’re trying to be fair and kind at the same time.

Here’s what you can try:

Talk to HR Again—Stay Calm and Stick to the Facts:
It’s okay to follow up with HR. Be respectful and explain how the situation has made you feel left out. Ask them to clarify what’s expected from you moving forward, so you don’t accidentally step over any lines.

Don’t Rely on Your Coworkers for Closure:
It hurts when people who used to be close to you start pulling away. But their distance often has more to do with avoiding conflict than with who you are as a person. Sometimes, people take sides without knowing everything.
Give them space. Let your actions—staying calm, steady, and respectful—speak for themselves.

Feel Proud for Standing Up for Yourself:
Speaking up isn’t always easy, and it’s not always received well. But it takes courage. Many people stay quiet and let things build up. You took a stand, even though it cost you something. That doesn’t make you the villain—it makes you human.

Consider Reaching Out to Your Pregnant Coworker Calmly:
Even if it feels awkward, think about having a respectful conversation with her. You don’t need to say sorry if you don’t feel it’s needed—just try to clear the air.
You might say something like, “I hope we can keep things respectful and open. I know this has been hard for both of us. If anything ever feels off, I’d rather we talk about it than let it build up.”