I Refused to Call Off Work During My Dad’s Funeral—Now My Stepmom Is Against Me

People have different ways of grieving; it can be loud, be done silently, or sometimes it is yet felt or realized. Losing someone important may feel numbing, and emptiness may seep into your heart, it is never a good experience. A Bright Side reader shared her sentiments over the passing of her father and the situation afterward.

In the midst of a loss, she wrote.

Hi Bright Side, I'd like to know your thoughts on whether I'm wrong here. I'm the only daughter of my parents. My mother passed away after giving birth to me. I only have my dad, but I also have to accept the fact that he left me five days ago. I was devastated when I heard the news from my stepmother, Lisa. I still cry myself to sleep until now.

Yes, I have a stepmother, my father remarried after falling in love with Lisa, she was with a baby when they got together (4 years now). Dad accepted Lisa and her baby with open arms, but to be honest, I felt uncomfortable when they got married. But I didn't say a word because I saw my dad smiling, his happiness is also my happiness.

He sacrificed a lot, raising me, and I think I don't have the right to ruin his happiness. Just imagining my Dad doing everything for me makes me tear up. He raised me well, not to behave rudely to someone, so I accepted her but kept my distance. I miss my dad.

When I heard the news about Dad's passing from my stepmom, I was at a loss. My mind went blank. Then tears started to fall down, I cried so hard that it was hard to breathe. I moved out of the house after getting a job far from home. So, I missed the chance to see him doing well. She told me I have to hurry back home, so I packed my things and picked my laptop to call off work.

When I opened it, I saw an unexpected message saying that my father had a debt to pay. It's from Dad's close friend, saying that he needs the money back as soon as possible because he needs it for his wife's treatment. I once again burst into tears, I don't know what to do; I have no idea that this was all happening. I messaged back while sobbing about the details.

In a conflicting revelation, she made her decision with a heavy heart.

After crying, I wiped my tears and decided to message Lisa that I won't be able to make it because of work. Yes, I decided not to call off work to be able to pay off Dad's debt. I think I can cover it this month with overtime pay because his friend really needs it. As for my saved-up money, I already used it for my Dad's funeral as requested by my stepmom, so I have nothing left to give.

It pains me not to be able to see Dad in his final moments, but I think he would do the same. I keep talking to Dad's picture frame, hoping that he will understand this heartbreaking decision because the situation needs it.

I spent the night talking to his picture frame, telling him my regrets, my plans in the future, and future vacations with him, supposedly. I asked him what I should do now. How will I spend my birthdays without him, because we always spend our birthdays, even my mom's, together. It was a tradition. I dread the day I will visit two graves on my birthday, but I'll be doing it soon.

In the middle of her grief, she suddenly received a call from her stepmother.

I was preparing myself to go to work tomorrow, trying to depuff my face from crying. I’m affirming myself that I can show up for work when I suddenly received a call from Lisa. She started with, “What do you mean by that message?!” I was surprised by her tone.

I calmly responded with my reason, which I also included in my message. She burst out that it’s selfish of me not to show up at his funeral. I was silenced, maybe it is selfish of me, but I made up my mind. I pointed out that Dad’s friend badly needs the money back. I told her that his friend helped him financially, so it’s my turn to return such kindness. She went silent for a moment.

Her words before hanging up hurt me, as she said, “How can you coldly choose work over your Dad, you’re so ungrateful!” I might look like a crybaby for crying again, but it broke me and gave me second thoughts on my decision. It’s as if my reason was not valid enough for her to understand.

I was just doing what I know Dad would do if he were in my shoes. I contacted my close cousin to know the situation at Dad’s funeral, and also to explain that I might not make it. He said that he totally understands if that is my decision. As for Lisa’s reaction, he assured me that I’m not being ungrateful.

He also told me that maybe it’s good that I’m not there because I might just babysit instead of grieving. Apparently, he overheard Lisa complaining on the phone about no one taking care of her 4-year-old son. He also added that it happened after he refused to look after the kid because he had errands.

What my stepmother told me still lingers in my head, but I made up my mind because I know that my dad will understand. I am not sure if this is being selfish of me, but I’m hoping that my kind Dad is at peace, smiling, and proud of what I am now.

As death can be painful and heartbreaking, we get by the days without close people by holding onto the fragments of warmth. These people shared discoveries that hold a piece of their loved ones, sentimental things that's wrapped with their memories. Read more at this link.