Blended families often encounter unique hurdles, where minor tensions can quickly spiral into major conflicts. When Trish requested that her household honor her commitment to a vegan lifestyle, it unexpectedly sparked a heated exchange. Her husband’s reaction took her by surprise, leaving her emotionally shaken and uncertain about what to do next. Seeking clarity and support, Trish turned to us for help navigating this delicate situation.
Hi Bright Side,
No meat is allowed in my home. My stepdaughter, 14, started to defy me and refuses to be vegan. I said, “My house, my rules! Don’t come here if you’re not happy!” My husband was quiet. At 3 a.m., my son, 7, came to me trembling.
Imagine my horror when I found out that my husband went to my son’s room, kissed him goodbye, and then left.
I checked the closet, and he had taken his clothes, packed his things. I called, and he said that he needs to be away from me for some time. He called me a “monster” and said that this house is also my stepdaughter’s house, and I have no right to impose anything on her.
I still think that I didn’t do anything wrong here. My stepdaughter is spoiled, and I have the right to impose any rule I want in my own home.
Do you think I was wrong to act this way?
Trish
Hi Trish,
Thank you for sharing your story — it’s clear that this situation has deeply affected your family. Whether or not you feel you were wrong, the emotional distance and conflict are now very real, and the challenge now is how to move forward thoughtfully and constructively. Here are four pieces of advice that could help you.
Sounds like the husband will not be coming home, you act like this and tell his daughter don't come here if your unhappy with your choices. Did you ever consider asking him. If you did not then you deserve what is happening. His natural instinct should be to protect his children and you crossed his line! It's ok to do certain things to us men but when you do them to our children that's another story.
Even if you believe you’re justified in setting household rules, your husband’s comment — “This house is also my stepdaughter’s house” — reveals that he feels unheard and possibly disrespected in family decisions. Consider that this might not just be about meat — it’s about feeling excluded from authority in a shared home.
Action: Invite your husband to a calm conversation (ideally in person) and propose creating shared household expectations that reflect both of your values. Not a surrender — a collaboration.
Your 7-year-old came to you trembling at 3 a.m. That’s not just about your husband leaving — it’s about your son feeling emotionally unsafe. This isn’t only an adult disagreement anymore; it’s something your children are absorbing.
Action: Focus less on who’s “right” and more on restoring emotional security. Reassure your son, validate his fear, and prioritize rebuilding a calm home — because emotional fear in children is a long-term consequence of family instability.
Saying “Don’t come here if you’re not happy” to a 14-year-old who lives with you may have felt like laying down the law — but to her, it likely felt like rejection. Being vegan in your own home is a valid choice. Imposing it as an absolute on others, especially a stepchild navigating loyalty, grief, or identity, is likely to backfire.
Action: Introduce zones or compromises — e.g., “No meat in the kitchen, but if you order something, eat it outside or in your room.” This gives her space without changing your values.
Staying firm in “I did nothing wrong” may protect your pride, but it won’t bring your husband or stepdaughter home. Whether your actions were justified or not, the emotional damage is real.
Action: Reflect not just on the rule, but on the delivery. Apologizing doesn’t mean saying you were wrong to be vegan — it means saying, “I’m sorry I made you feel unwelcome in your own home. That wasn’t my intention.” That alone could open a door that’s now shut.
Despite all the tensions we might face, there is also a lot of kindness in the world. Here are 15 Stories That Prove Kindness Runs in Some People’s Veins.
Wow what an amazing man to stand up to someone so narcissistic and selfish. He has won in his child's life and he chose to do it in a classy way. Too bad he could not carry his other child with him. something tells me this is not about veganism but your absolute hatred of his child and because he stands up for her you used this to exert your dominance. Hope he gets his house and child from you and you can go bully some other vegan somewhere else.
I'm completely confused by this. Maybe my veal filled brain is missing something... if you don't allow meat in your house, and the horrible flesh eaters left, why are you upset? Like Scrooge McDuck with the magical golden fish, you got everything that you asked for.
Yes, you are absolutely wrong!
YTA, on this one. I'm sorry but that's not just YOUR house and the way you went about this shows a lack of respect with your partner, a lack of cohesive agreement in your relationship and a REAL.lack of cooperation in how to move forward. And that's just your relationship with your husband. The situation with your step daughter, that's tough and again subduing that you and your husband and the mother need to iron out before tackling.
