I Said No to Cooking Gluten-Free for My Stepdaughter — Her Mom Flipped Out

Navigating family relationships is rarely simple—and when stepparents and children are part of the equation, things can get even more delicate. One woman turned to Reddit to share her struggles with her stepdaughter’s eating habits and her own role in the matter, questioning whether she overstepped. Curious what happened? Dive into the full story in our article.

What was the situation?

My 15-year-old stepdaughter has been staying with us every week for the past year, and managing her dietary needs has been a constant challenge. She started off by going vegan, which I respected—I made sure to prepare meals without any animal products just for her. But not long after, she shifted to a holistic diet and began claiming allergies to a variety of foods.

Now my stepdaughter follows a strict gluten-free diet and insists on using separate food and utensils. She’s even thrown out items from our pantry, convinced they were causing her stomach issues. I tried to respect it, but eventually, it got to me. I eventually told her that if she has such specific needs, she should either cook for herself or eat out. That didn’t go over well—she got upset, and my husband ended up yelling at me for how I handled it.

After encouraging my stepdaughter to consult a professional about her increasingly restrictive eating habits, it was confirmed that she had no actual allergies. Still, she remained firmly convinced that certain foods were making her ill.

Eventually, I hit my limit. Lately, I’ve been sneaking gluten into her meals. She ate them without any issues. However, she figured it out pretty quickly and things spiraled. Her mother visited and complimented her daughter’s improved health, crediting it to the “new diet,” I calmly explained that she had actually been eating the same food as the rest of us.

That revelation triggered a major confrontation. My stepdaughter and her mother left immediately, and soon after, my stepdaughter announced she would no longer stay with us. My husband was angry, blaming me for driving her away. I told him that if it was that important for him to live with his daughter, he was welcome to move out and do so elsewhere.

Since then, they’ve filed a lawsuit. Despite that, I stand by what I did. I refuse to enable the demands of a teenager who, in my view, is dealing with unresolved mental health challenges. If she ever decides to return, I will not apologize or resume accommodating unrealistic food restrictions.

I’m a nurse with long, exhausting shifts, and I simply don’t have the time, energy, or emotional bandwidth to maintain a charade built on baseless dietary fears.

Does that make me wrong?

How did people react?

The overwhelming majority of users sided with the author. Many expressed frustration with the husband’s response, criticizing his lack of support for his wife and his failure to effectively address his own daughter’s needs.

• Your husband started yelling at you about it? Congratulations husband, you are now your daughter’s chief chef and bottle washer. My_Name_Is_Amos / Reddit
• If your husband wants to back up his daughter so much, he’ll learn how to support her dietary needs. His pawning it off on you and then yelling at you while he does nothing all shows just how “supportive” he actually is. If her mom is drinking the Kool-Aid, she can send your stepdaughter batched meals that can be heated up by Little Miss Princess. eternally_feral / Reddit
• She wanted a separate, different menu. Your husband is really stretching how long incompetence can be sexy with his inability to cook. Being a good father doesn’t make him a good husband. He doesn’t seem to respect you as a partner or as a professional, unless his own credentials exceed your own in the healthcare industry, he should pull his head out of the sand and listen. Last-Butterscotch-68 / Reddit

Many also agreed that the girl may be struggling with unresolved mental health issues that her parents have overlooked. Some even suggested that her parents themselves might be dealing with similar issues.

• You are right that this kid needs psychological evaluation along with both her parents. Suffering1s0ptional / Reddit
• This screams eating disorder and a conversion disorder as well, weirdly... All of this chaos is likely for attention. Wise-Adhesiveness129 / Reddit
• This sounds like orthorexia & her parents are just gleefully encouraging it. She’s 15, she has 2 living parents. Feeding her shouldn’t be your job, since you obviously aren’t up to her exacting standards. Her mama can send her with food or her daddy can turn the stove on. WastelandMama / Reddit

However, there were also a couple of people who mentioned something that the author shouldn’t have done.

• I understand why you did it, especially since the allergy test was negative. But no one should be fed things deceptively. You should have simply refused to cater to her demands. Hey-Just-Saying / Reddit
• Maybe unpopular opinion, but I think it’s always wrong to lie to someone about what is in their food. That said, she can make her own meals. Longjumping_Crab_345 / Reddit

When Emma, a stepmother, declined to host her stepson’s birthday party at her home, it stirred tensions with the boy’s mother. Curious what happened next? Read Emma’s full story here.