I Was Exhausted and Overwhelmed—Then I Faced the Hardest Choice of My Life

Parenting is full of joy, but it’s also the greatest responsibility. For single parents, that weight feels even heavier. Sometimes, you face choices that keep you awake at night. For one of our readers, such a decision was about to change everything.

Here is her letter.

Dear Bright Side,

I’m a single mom of six. My eldest children, Kayla and Dania, are 15-year-old twins. For years, I’ve been running on empty. It was emotionally, financially, and physically tough.

I’ve done my best to keep us all afloat, but recently, I reached my breaking point. I realized I simply couldn’t give all my children the care and attention they needed at the same time.

So, I made the hardest decision of my life: I asked Kayla to live with her grand-aunt for a while.

When I told her, she broke down crying. “Why me? Are you abandoning me?” I felt awful. Her words pierced my heart like nothing else ever had.

I tried to explain to her that she’s more understanding and responsible than Dania. I thought she might see that I was trusting her strength, not rejecting her. I could see the pain in her eyes.

As a mother, I’m supposed to protect my children from pain. Yet I’m causing it. I keep asking myself: Was I asking too much of her? Was I placing a burden on her young shoulders that she shouldn’t have to bear?

Hannah B.

Dear Hannah,

First, take a deep breath and remind yourself: you are doing the best you can in an incredibly challenging situation. Parenting six children as a single mother is not just a full-time job; it’s an act of extraordinary strength and love.

Your decision to ask Kayla to stay with her grand-aunt wasn’t about pushing her away. It was about finding a way for your family to survive this difficult period. You recognized that you needed help, and asking for it is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom.

Right now, Kayla may only see the separation and the hurt. She might not yet understand the depth of your love or the reasons behind your choice. This is a big emotional shift for her.

When a teenager experiences a sudden change like this, it can trigger feelings of loss, abandonment, and confusion. Developmentally, at Kayla’s age, her sense of belonging is especially tied to her family. This means she may interpret the move as a statement about her worth, even though that is far from your intention.

From a psychological standpoint, the key now is to keep the attachment bond between you and Kayla strong. Research on attachment theory shows that even when there is physical distance, a consistent emotional connection can protect a child from long-term feelings of rejection.

Here are a few strategies you can use:

• Keep communication predictable. Set a schedule for calls, messages, or video chats so she can rely on regular contact with you.
• Validate her feelings without defensiveness. If she says she feels abandoned, resist the urge to explain or justify immediately. Instead, acknowledge her feelings.
• Share your vision for the future. Let her know this is temporary and explain what steps you’re taking so you can reunite.
• Reinforce her importance. It can be small, intentional gestures. A letter in the mail, a shared playlist, and inside jokes in your texts.
• Model self-care. Keep in mind that children learn emotional regulation by watching us.

Remember, teenagers may not grasp the bigger picture right away, but they can feel consistency, love, and commitment over time. While she may not fully understand your choice now, nurturing your connection and keeping the lines of communication open will help her come to terms with your choice over time.

Parenting isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about doing your best with what you have, learning along the way, and hoping that love guides your choices in the right direction.