I’m the Only Vegan at My Son’s Wedding, and Being Charged Extra for My Meal Was Too Much

Marriage is a time when families come together and relationships are built. But things are not always easy when it comes to in-laws. One of our readers saw her DIL’s true colors at the wedding, and her relationship with her son might suffer because of it.

This is Evelyn’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

My son recently got married to a woman I don’t know very well. They live in another state, so I only met her a couple of days before the wedding. She seemed nice, but it was rather shocking for me to have my DIL mock me for being a vegan.

There was some tension between us right off the bat, but I attended the wedding for my son. He’s my pride and joy and I wanted to see him happy. When I got to the reception, I saw that there was no assigned seating, so I sat at a table that had a sign for a ’vegan option.’

The meal arrived, and I was horrified when I saw the veggies. They looked rotten. So I asked the waitress for a salad, and she said that I would need to pay extra as there was only one vegetarian meal reserved. The salad would come from their usual menu.

I stood up to leave, feeling that I wasn’t a welcomed guest at my own son’s wedding. But my son came over and said, “You will regret this, mom. If you leave now, just forget us.” I was shocked that he would say something like that to me. I thought I raised him better.

I replied honestly, saying, “I came for you, but I won’t sit at a table where I’m mocked and then told to pay extra for a meal because the food I was served was expired.” With that, I turned around and left. I haven’t heard from my son since.

But a few days later, my DIL called me. She said I was being selfish for hurting my son and ruining the reception. She claimed that most of my family left after I did because they agreed with me. I kept quiet and let her rant. But the worst part was that she even waited for an apology.

I told her that she was the one who has been disrespecting me since the day we met. I don’t want to lose my son, but I’m not going to lose my pride either. If my son wanted to make things right, he could contact me himself.

It’s been two weeks and I still haven’t heard anything. So Bright Side, was it wrong of me to walk out of my son’s wedding reception and possibly ruin our relationship over a meal?

Regards,
Evelyn M.

Thank you for reaching out to us, Evelyn. We understand how difficult this situation must be, and we’ve put together some tips that might help.

Separate the food issue from the relationship issue.

The spoiled vegan dish and the lack of accommodation were understandably upsetting, but your son may have seen your decision to leave as a rejection of him, not just the meal. If you want to preserve your bond, try to reach out and clarify. Say something like, “I left because I felt disrespected by the situation, not because I didn’t want to celebrate your marriage.” That distinction might open the door for healing.

Extend an olive branch without sacrificing your values.

You don’t need to apologize for being vegan or for standing up for yourself. But you could acknowledge that walking out on the reception may have hurt him more than you realized. Saying something like, “I wish I had handled it differently, because I love you and your happiness means more to me than any meal,” can soften the tension without you conceding your principles.

Don’t engage in power struggles with your DIL.

It sounds like your daughter-in-law thrives on confrontation, and right now, trying to “win” against her may only push your son further away. Instead, keep communication direct with him whenever possible. Focus on your bond with your son, and let him see through time and consistency that you want to be part of his life without getting caught in arguments.

Evelyn’s situation might be a difficult one, but there is still a chance for her to fix her relationship with her son. She isn’t the only one who has had trouble with her DIL, though.

Another one of our readers shared the story of her DIL. Read it here: My DIL Excluded Me From the Family Trip—but I Refused to Stay Silent.