You know how people say, “Family vacations bring everyone closer”? Well, I wish that were true. When my daughter-in-law (DIL) invited me to join their family trip, I thought it was her way of including me, maybe even making peace after a few awkward family gatherings.
I imagined laughter, beach walks, and fancy dinners together. Turns out, I was about to learn the hard way that not every invitation means what it sounds like.
Hi readers! When my DIL told me she wanted me to come along on their family vacation, I was genuinely touched and thrilled. She said things like, “It’ll be nice to have the whole family together for once.”
I thought, wow, maybe we’re finally bonding after years of awkward small talk and polite smiles. I thought it would be a great chance to relax, spend time with my son and grandkids, and finally feel like part of the family.
I packed my bags, bought a new pretty dress, and even got little gifts for my grandkids. I took time off work. I was so excited. I imagined beach walks, dinners together, and maybe a few funny family photos. But the moment we reached the resort, things started feeling...off.
That is a BRUTAL way to treat grandma. No, of course you’re not wrong. If that’s what the plan was, it should have been explained to you before the trip, then you could decide if it was worth your time. You are owed an apology, and a big one. The entitled behavior is disheartening to say the least. And it was abominable treatment on a getaway for you. Go NC for just as long as you want to..
When we arrived at the fancy hotel, I quickly got ready for our dinner reservation, put on my new dress. Did my makeup for the first time in years. My DIL came into my room with the kids and appeared shocked and annoyed. She asked me, “What are you doing?”
I told her with a smile that I’m ready finally, sorry if it took long. She looked me in the eye and said, “NO! You have to stay with the kids. We’re heading out. It’s just a reservation for me and Mark (my son) today. Please take care of the children, they are excited to be with their granny.”
At first, I thought she was joking. I laughed, but nope, she was dead serious.
I stood there stunned. I had taken time off, packed, and traveled thinking this was a real family trip. I told her I want to join too. She gave me a patronizing smile and said, “Wait, did you really expect a full free vacation? We paid for your room and flight, the least you can do is help with the kids while we get some alone time.”
I felt my stomach drop. My son heard her and instead of defending me, he just shrugged and said, “Mom, it’s not a big deal. You love spending time with them. We can grab dinner tomorrow and plan stuff after we’re back from scuba diving, since we can’t take the kids along.”
That’s when it hit me. This whole “invitation” wasn’t about family bonding. It was a setup to get a free babysitter.
Wow just wow!!!! I don't blame you one bit for feeling this way. Your son and DIL obviously conned you into thinking that you were going on a family trip for family bonding time. Only to end up finding out that they only wanted you there for free babysitting detail. That's so rude and very disrespectful. Why couldn't they just be honest with you from the very beginning???? There's absolutely no justification let alone no excuse for that kind of irresponsible behavior.
I was so humiliated. I did stay with the kids for the night, but the next morning I packed my bags. I told them I “don’t want to be a burden” or “freeload off them” and was flying home. My DIL rolled her eyes, my son said I was “overreacting,” and the poor kids didn’t even know what was going on. I left anyway.
When I got back, I saw my DIL had texted me that I ruined their vacation and should’ve been more “understanding”. Am I really to blame here? I love my grandkids, but I am not a free babysitter.
Families are complicated. Read the previous letter we received from a reader: I Refuse to Take Care of My Sick Brother—I’m Not His Mom.
Your DIL sounds like any MIL's worst nightmare
If they wanted a babysitter, they needed to be upfront about it when they invited you.
I would demand. They pay everything you had to pay for, including your time off from work. She sounds like a horrible girl and I think your son is scared of her. Get them to pay back everything. If they ever ask you to babysit charge them big time. Then take your grandkids out for lunch on the money. Of course they are not invited.
I don't understand how you can work your ENTIRE LIFE, RAISE YOUR KIDS, AND SUDDENLY, WHEN YOU BECOME GRANDPARENTS, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK SOME MORE, JUST TO SEE THE GRANDKIDS. Don't these ungrateful brats know that Gma, and Gpa, DO KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE? Now it should be the grandparents time to relax. People under 40 (mostly), just have NO CLUE.
