My Ex-Husband Turned His Back on Our Child—I Made Him Regret It

Life has a way of throwing challenges our way—ones that test our endurance, patience, and sense of justice. Navigating co-parenting is one such challenge, demanding cooperation and equal effort from both parents to support their child’s needs. But what unfolds when one parent prioritizes their own desires, leaving the other to shoulder all the responsibilities? It’s a situation that many single parents are all too familiar with. Recently, a reader opened up to us about how she handled a surprising and audacious request from her former spouse.

Here’s Carla’s letter:

“ Hi Bright Side,


My ex told me he desperately needs 4 months off from child support. Reason? “My wife insists we take our daughter to Disney, so I have to save!” I didn’t comment. On visitation day, instead of dropping off my son, I left a big case at their door.

My ex eagerly opened it, then he froze. Inside was a pile of clothes and school supplies. He blinked and asked, “What’s this?!” I smiled and explained, “It’s simple. Since you’re taking a break from financially supporting our child, I thought it’d be fair if I took a break too. You’ll be handling full-time parenting for the next 16 weeks. You know—so I can focus on my own savings. Oh, and don’t worry, I packed enough clothes and school supplies for the first couple of weeks. After that, I’m sure you can work something out.”

He looked absolutely terrified and blurted out, “Wait, hold on! We never agreed to this!” I tilted my head, feigning innocence. “Oh? I assumed you’d be fine with it. I mean, it’s just 4 months. What’s the big deal?” I let my words sink in for a moment before delivering the final blow. “Oh, and one more thing—our son didn’t feel like visiting Daddy today. He said he’d rather stay with me this weekend. So, I’ll drop him off Monday morning, and then you’ll have him for the full 16 weeks. Enjoy!”

Now, my ex and his wife can’t stop calling and texting me, but I’m not picking up. I’m standing my ground. If he chose to prioritize his new family over our son, then he should face the consequences. I didn’t make this decision alone—he did, the moment he asked to opt out of his responsibilities. Am I wrong for this?

Sincerely,
Carla "

Carla, thank you for opening up to us about your circumstances. We truly value your confidence, and we’ve compiled 4 key recommendations to support you in navigating this challenge successfully and emerging stronger.

Put Your Child’s Emotional Health First

Although your former spouse may need to face the consequences of his actions, it’s crucial to protect your child from feeling like a bargaining chip in the situation. Children are incredibly sensitive, and abrupt shifts in their home environment can lead to emotional distress, uncertainty, or anxiety.

Having honest, age-appropriate conversations with your son about the changes—framed in a way that doesn’t come across as disciplinary—can help maintain his sense of security. Emphasize that he is deeply loved and that both parents share the responsibility of caring for him, despite any disagreements between them.

Research consistently highlights that children do best when they experience consistent routines and open, reassuring communication from both parents, even in cases of ongoing parental conflict.

Establish Clear Boundaries Backed by Law

If your former partner is avoiding his financial duties, it may be necessary to formally enforce child support through legal means. Informal arrangements often fall apart when one person unilaterally decides to alter the terms, and it seems he believed he could simply suspend his obligations.

Securing a court-enforced child support order can provide long-term financial protection for both you and your son. Speaking with a family law attorney can help you evaluate steps such as wage garnishment or pursuing legal consequences for missed payments.

Move Beyond Revenge—Build a Long-Term Parenting Plan

Your ex-husband’s request was unreasonable, but the focus should be on promoting responsibility—not seeking revenge. While experiencing the demands of full-time parenting might offer him some perspective, the ultimate objective should be creating a balanced and reliable co-parenting dynamic.

If he finds full-time parenting overwhelming, consider using this moment to suggest a clearer, more sustainable arrangement for the future. Encourage his active participation in a way that genuinely supports your son’s well-being, rather than framing the situation as payback for past mistakes. According to research from the Child Mind Institute, children benefit both emotionally and academically when both parents remain consistently engaged in their lives, even post-divorce.

Skip the Text Fight—Steer the Conversation

Ignoring your ex’s messages might offer a sense of control in the moment, but eventually, communication will be necessary—on your own terms. Rather than responding out of emotion, take the lead by deciding when and how you’ll engage.

Using a co-parenting app can be a smart strategy. These tools not only keep conversations organized and civil but also create a written record of all interactions. This helps you maintain a professional tone, reduce conflict, and protect yourself against manipulation or inappropriate demands.

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