My Husband Donated a Big Sum to His Ex Wife’s GoFundMe, I Took Back the Money

It all started with a significant sum of money mysteriously missing from a joint account and ended with a wife discovering an unpleasant truth about her husband and his actions that hurt her feelings.

Angela, 34, wrote to us furious, heartbroken, and unsure if she crossed a line... or finally drew one. What she did in response has us all completely divided. Here’s her story.

Here’s Angela’s letter:

"Hi, Bright Side,

My name’s Angela, I’m 34 years old. I honestly don’t even know if I’m the bad guy here. I just feel confused, hurt, and kind of betrayed. I need to get this off my chest.

So here’s what happened. My husband and I have been married for three years. We’re not rich — we both work full-time jobs, pay rent, juggle bills, and just last month we had to put off getting our car fixed because we didn’t have the extra money. You know, normal stuff. Life’s not easy, but we manage.

His ex-wife (they were married for six years, divorced for four before we met) recently put up a GoFundMe because her dog needed emergency surgery. She wrote this big emotional post about how she couldn’t afford it and how the dog was her “only family.” Whatever.

I didn’t even know she made a GoFundMe until I saw the $1000 missing from our joint account. At first, I thought it was fraud. Then I found the donation — under his name. No conversation. No heads-up. Nothing.

I confronted him and he got defensive. Said it was his money too and that the dog meant a lot to him back when they were married. That he felt bad. That it wasn’t a big deal.

Not a big deal? We literally just skipped getting our brakes fixed because we “couldn’t afford it.” I didn’t make a scandal and I didn’t say a word more, though I was screaming inside.

I quietly took the money back. I emailed GoFundMe, explained it was a joint account and an unauthorized donation, and I reversed the payment. I told my husband what I did after the fact.

He blew up. Said I was controlling, heartless, and “had no empathy.” He slept on the couch for three nights.

Now half of our friends think I’m cold and jealous. The other half say I did the right thing — that marriage means being a team, not secretly sending large amounts of money to your ex without talking about it.

But now there’s tension. We don’t talk the same. I feel like he still cares about her in a way that makes me... disposable.

Maybe it is just a dog. But for me, it’s about trust. About priorities. About respect.

Did I go too far?"

Thank you, Angela, for bravely sharing your story with the Bright Side team. Your experience touches on issues many couples may face but often hesitate to discuss openly.

Here are 4 practical pieces of advice to help you navigate this challenging situation.

1. Establish clear financial boundaries.

Financial transparency is crucial in a marriage. When both partners are fully informed about their financial status, it fosters mutual respect and trust. Secretive financial decisions can erode this trust and lead to feelings of betrayal. It’s essential to have open discussions about financial decisions, especially those involving significant amounts or joint accounts.

2. Rebuild trust through open communication.

Trust, once broken, requires time and consistent effort to rebuild. Engaging in honest conversations about feelings, expectations, and boundaries can pave the way for healing. Consider seeking the guidance of a couples therapist to facilitate these discussions and provide tools to strengthen your relationship.

3. Set healthy boundaries with ex-partners.

Maintaining appropriate boundaries with ex-partners is vital to protect the sanctity of your current relationship. While it’s understandable to have residual feelings or obligations, it’s essential to prioritize your current partnership. Discuss and agree upon boundaries that both you and your husband are comfortable with, ensuring that past relationships don’t interfere with your present.

4. Cultivate empathy in conflict resolution.

Approaching conflicts with empathy allows for a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives. By actively listening and validating each other’s feelings, couples can navigate disagreements more constructively. Empathy fosters connection and can be a powerful tool in resolving disputes and strengthening your bond.

And here’s another, quite controversial story of a 35-year-old father, who has raised his 12-year-old daughter with unwavering devotion. But everything changed after one visit to her mom’s house. His story isn’t just about family — it’s about betrayal, and the quiet breaking point so many parents silently carry. The man needs to know: Did he go too far, or was he finally standing up for himself?