My Husband Made a Joke About Our Daughter’s Curly Hair and Doesn’t Understand How Traumatizing This Could Be

Approximately 65% of people in the world have curly hair. Although the beauty and fashion industry made us believe that straight hair was prettier than others, now more and more people are proudly embracing their curls. Recently, a mom vented online about how her husband diminished their daughter’s hair. And the feedback she received was intense.

She shared her story.

My husband and I have an 8-year-old daughter with curly hair. I love her hair, and she loves it too.

Last weekend, I noticed she was upset and quiet. I asked what happened, and she didn’t want to tell me. I insisted, and she started crying. She told me her father had made a joke about her hair. He said her hair looked like a rat’s nest and that she should straighten it or cut it. He said it was just a joke and that he loved her hair, but she shouldn’t tell me about the joke.

I was furious and confronted my husband. I started arguing with him and said he was being prejudiced and had hurt our daughter. He apologized and said he didn’t mean to offend anyone. He said he was just trying to make a joke and didn’t see any issue with her hair. He said I needed to stop dwelling on his mistake and that I was overreacting.

I didn’t accept his apologies and continued to argue with him. I told him he had no idea what curly hair meant to our daughter and our culture (I’m a Latina woman). I said he should respect it and not make such jokes. I said he was foolish for making our daughter feel bad and for making her hide the truth from me. Am I wrong?

People defended her.

• “The fact that he explicitly told your daughter not to tell you about his ’joke’ shows you he knows how wrong and hurtful it was. Clearly his joke, regardless of his intention, was hurtful, and instead of sincerely apologizing to both you and your daughter, he’s treating it like you’re being over-sensitive and shrugging you off as being ridiculous.” ittybittyc***y / Reddit
• “Your husband knows he’s in the wrong, he even tried to convince your daughter to not say anything. He made her cry and that’s not okay. If he doesn’t have any issues with her hair why did he insult it?” BarbarianRose / Reddit
• “Little girls adore their daddies. And this one just shot her confidence level WAY down. He needs to beg for her forgiveness asap.” deutschHotel / Reddit
• “Those are the kind of jokes that leave your kid with lasting issues. Stop him now before he messes with her self-image.” italymeetsparis / Reddit

In a world where beauty standards have often been narrowly defined, it’s essential to celebrate and embrace diverse hair types. Hair is a unique expression of our identity and personality in all its glorious forms. And among the many hair types, curls hold a special place, deserving of love and admiration.