My MIL Excluded Us From the Family Trip Because We Don’t Have Kids, So We Made Her Regret It

Being excluded from family events can be painful, especially when it’s not about logistics, but judgment. One common and often unspoken reason people are left out is because they don’t have children.

One of our readers reached out to us.

Dear Bright Side,

My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and we wanted to spend time with his family during the holidays. My MIL always organizes the family trips for everyone. So we went to his parents’ house to ask if they would have us. My MIL told us they wouldn’t be available.

This time, she said, it was just for the kids, a family trip to Disneyland, and since we don’t have any, we weren’t invited. My husband was stunned and asked his mom why we couldn’t come with. She looked him in the eye and said, “It’s a family trip filled with family activities.” I just stood there looking between them, stunned into silence.

My husband explained that we’d be having kids when we were ready. But his mother didn’t accept that answer. She just said, “When you give me grandkids, you can come on the family vacation.” At first, I thought she was joking, but the look on my husband’s face told me everything I needed to know.

My husband was crushed. Through the years we were dating, he always stood up for her and tried to explain her behavior, but now he couldn’t deny it anymore. His mother wasn’t the sweet lady he tried to make her out to be.

So, my husband and I planned our own trip instead. While we were away, we found out that we were expecting our first child. When we told my MIL her entire attitude shifted and suddenly my husband was the golden child of the family.

She started talking about the next family vacation and telling us what we could expect, but my husband told her to exclude us from all her future plans. We’d raise our child our way, and she’d have no say in anything we do moving forward.

Thank you for reaching out to us. Situations like these can be frustrating and hard to handle. Here are a few tips that might help.

Respond with intention, not emotion.

It’s natural to feel hurt, angry, or even embarrassed when you’re excluded, especially if the message is that you’re “less than” because you don’t have children. But instead of reacting emotionally in the moment, take a step back. Process your feelings privately, then decide how you want to respond. A thoughtful, composed approach is far more effective than a heated confrontation.

Advocate for yourself and set clear boundaries.

If exclusion happens repeatedly, or if it seems rooted in assumptions about your life or choices, it’s worth having a direct but respectful conversation. Let your partner and family members know that having no kids doesn’t make you any less a part of the family. You deserve inclusion and respect, not conditions.

Don’t wait for an invitation to enjoy your life.

Missing out on a family trip might sting, but it’s also an opportunity. Take the time you weren’t included in and do something fulfilling, fun, or meaningful. Travel somewhere new, explore a hobby, or plan your own version of a “family” gathering with close friends. Living fully is the best answer to being sidelined.

Let your confidence speak louder than their assumptions.

Sometimes, the most powerful message you can send is through your actions. When others see that exclusion doesn’t diminish your happiness or identity, it often forces them to reflect on their own behavior. Staying true to who you are, and refusing to let others define your worth, sends a strong, quiet message.

Not having kids doesn’t make anyone less worthy of love, respect, or a place in the family circle. When exclusion happens, it says more about the person doing this than the one being left out. Rather than shrinking under the weight of that judgment, rise above it.