My Neighbor Asked Me to Stop Running Because Her Son Stares at Me

Running for many of us, is a way to break off from the rest of the world, particularly for this woman. But what started as a seemingly peaceful morning run with her dog turned into an argument with the neighbor.

I thought she wanted to have a friendly chat.

I was running with my dog and the neighbor motioned for me to come. I thought she wanted to pet my dog or say hi since she seemed fairly new to the neighborhood. She said, “Honey, your running is too distracting, my son might see you.” She pointed at my chest area. “You need to cover up.” I didn’t know what to say.

Even the son got involved.

At that moment, her son walked out and creepily stared for a good two minutes while I argued with his mother. “What I do is none of your business.” Her jaw fell open. I continued, “Besides, didn’t you teach your son that staring is rude?” Her son on the doorstep yelled out, “Hey, my mom is just trying to keep you looking proper.” I ignored them and kept running. Did I do the right thing?

Her comment was inappropriate.

Telling someone their outfit is “too distracting” and pointing at your chest is intrusive and inappropriate. It’s not her place to comment on your appearance, especially when you weren’t engaging with her in that way.

Don’t pay attention to the neighbor.

While you shouldn’t have to anticipate this sort of argument, having a prepared response can be useful. A simple, “I’m comfortable in what I’m wearing and will continue running here,” can shut down further conversation. You can also try using noise-cancelling headphones while running. This can help you zone out from distractions and focus on your workout.

Don’t stop running.

Your neighbor’s comment is entirely about her son and his discomfort, not a reflection on you. It’s her responsibility to address her son’s behavior, not yours to change your clothes or running route. If you feel comfortable, consider a calm conversation with your neighbor. You can say something like, “My clothes are appropriate for exercise. I’m comfortable running in my neighborhood, and I won’t be changing my routine.”

Don’t let her take away the enjoyment.

When you lace up your shoes, visualize the positive emotions you usually associate with running. Think about the endorphin rush after a good run, the feeling of accomplishment when you reach your goal, or the way your stress melts away with each stride. By refocusing on the positive aspects of running, you can drown out the negativity from your neighbor’s comment.

Find someone to run with.

If you want to feel safer and more comfortable, consider running with a friend or joining a running group. This way you’ll have the necessary support. Besides, you might want to switch back to solo running mode when you’re feeling confident again. Remember, you have the right to feel safe and comfortable running in your own neighborhood.

You handled her well.

Instead of freezing up or apologizing, which many people might do in a moment like that, especially when caught off guard, you stood your ground and spoke up for yourself. You didn’t raise your voice or get overly emotional; you responded calmly and clearly like a rational adult.

Some people tend to speak out of line and the best way to deal with them is remind them that whatever you do or wear is none of their business. If people are being too intrusive, here’s how to handle any unwanted questions to avoid hearing them again.