My Wife’s Best Friend Encouraged Her to Cheat on Me; Now I Refuse to Support Her Happiness

This is the story of a husband who found himself at the crossroads of love and betrayal. Encouraged by her best friend, his wife crossed the line, shattering the foundation of their marriage. Now, as he grapples with the aftermath, he faces a difficult decision: whether to support her happiness or stand firm in his own pain.

He explained what happened.

My wife had an affair several years ago. I found out that her phone data use suddenly skyrocketed. I investigated, saw the number on the bill, and figured out it was her ex. She denied it, of course, which eventually led to me snooping on her phone. She had tried to cover her tracks, but she didn’t delete text messages to her best friend describing everything, bragging about it, etc. Her friend was supportive, at times even encouraging her to continue the affair.

We’ve reconciled since then, and things are pretty okay between us, but I still hold a lot of anger towards her friend, partly for encouraging her to do what she did, instead of telling her to do the right thing, and I think partly because her messages with her friend were the vehicle that delivered so much pain and torment to me. Even now, seeing her friend or hearing her name makes me think of the affair.

Her friend is getting married in a few months and she is the maid of honor. I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety surrounding the thought of having to attend. Finally, I decided that I needed to protect myself. I would be miserable the entire time, and the idea of celebrating the marriage of a person who, at the very least, severely disrespected mine, feels disgusting.

When I told my wife that I had decided I wouldn’t go, she became pretty upset. She said she was hurt, but it felt more like anger to me. She shut down after that and hasn’t talked to me. I explained my reasoning, my feelings, etc, but she kind of blew me off.

I don’t feel like the villain, for one, I didn’t ask to feel this way, her actions put me here. Two, she is the one who implicated her friend in the affair, if she hadn’t done that, it wouldn’t even be an issue. Also, I didn’t imply that she couldn’t or shouldn’t go, I even encouraged her to attend and be a part of it, and offered to drive her to and from. Am I the jerk?

People stood on his side.

• "You’re holding so much resentment for the friend when it’s your wife’s fault. She ruined your relationship, not her friend." alphabetacheetah / Reddit
• "Honestly the wife ruined the marriage but the friend encouraging it makes her suck as well. I would be petty as possible and go to the wedding. I would toast the new couple and wish the groom luck because his new bride believes in cheating on your spouse. Then I would tell my wife I am done with her and leave." MartinisnM***er / Reddit
• "This is a CLASSIC case of 'blaming the other women' since you so badly want to be with your wife but you need to be mad at someone you choose her friend. Dude I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, your wife is the problem, not the friend. Your wife was going to cheat on you with her best friend's encouragement or not because she’s a cheater and a liar." Careless_Welder_4048 / Reddit

• "Please protect yourself (and your mental health). Don't see much regret in your wife either, if she doesn't even see or acknowledge your valid reasoning?! Maybe you should dump her altogether." DrKrass / Reddit
• "Sounds like your wife still thinks nothing wrong happened. If she can’t see your point of view then she doesn’t care how you feel about it. Keep your peace and don’t go. Also, evaluate if you could ever have a healthy relationship moving forward with your wife because her friend will most likely always be there." ManufacturerFew5235 / Reddit
• "You chose to stay with your wife after she bragged about betraying you? Her friend is the least of your problems." aaseandersen / Reddit

His decision to withdraw support for her happiness is not born out of malice but a deep need for self-preservation and healing. This story reminds us of the fragility of trust and the profound impact of betrayal.