15+ Stories That Made Us Think, “I Didn’t See That Coming”

With all due respect for comedy writers, we believe nothing can beat the humor of real-life events. From the hilarious to the absurd, the tales shared on Reddit and Twitter are proof that truth can be just as entertaining as fiction, if not more. Buckle up and get ready to be taken on a journey filled with unexpected surprises, as we explore the quirky and absurd twists and turns of real-life tales.

• I was in Paris on Friday night and a handsome French man was flirting with me. I asked him what his name was. He said (very Frenchly) “Ah you will be disappointed.”
  I thought, what a silly thing to say. And then he said, “It is Kevin,” and you know what? I was disappointed. © mollyEatsTofu / Twitter

• I got a notification saying my Lyft Driver was deaf and to text him anything I needed to say. So I texted him, saying thank you for picking me up.
  This man turned around to me and said, “No problem bro. You can talk to me. I just say that I’m deaf, so my passengers don’t talk to me.” © Nicholas_ted33 / Twitter

• So I’m on the phone with the IT guy, and he has a really nice voice. So I’m going on my computer to look him up to see his face, completely forgetting he remotes into my computer, so he can see what I’m doing. © Dees_curve / Twitter

• Today, at the beach, I had the wonderful experience of a woman yelling at me, “Don’t look at my husband,” to which I got to gleefully yell back, “Ma’am, I am gay. He’s just got so much sunscreen on his face.” © Kristen_Arnett / Twitter

• My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It’s hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth. © iwearaonesie / Twitter

• Wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?
  Me: They’re for the dogs.
  Wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
  Me: They don’t know how. © iwearaonesie / Twitter

• My daughter said she couldn’t wait to have kids. I asked her why, and she said, “So they can bring me stuff when it’s in another room.” © HollyBallantine / Twitter

• My husband pissed me off, so when he wasn’t looking I poured water on the floor in front of the dishwasher. He’s been fixing it for the past 2 hours. © 3sunzzz / Twitter

• Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck.
  Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs. © AnneHatfieldVO / Twitter

• Me: What did you do at school today?
  5-year-old: Learned about dragons.
  Me: Your class learned about dragons?
  5-year-old: I learned about dragons. I don’t know what everybody else was doing. © XplodingUnicorn / Twitter

• One time, I got set up with a guy through a mutual friend. Before he came to pick me up, he said, “Do you mind if we take my motorcycle?” I was like, “Sure,” so I wore a leather jacket and got all sexy. This boy shows up on a single-seat bike, and I have to ride in the sidecar. © dyslexXtHiCc / Twitter

• Me: Do you like that shirt I bought you?
  12-year-old: No. It looks like something Mom would wear.
  Me: You wear her clothes all the time.
  12: It’s okay to borrow. Not to own. © XplodingUnicorn / Twitter

• At my wedding, the minister called in sick and sent a replacement. It was my wife’s first husband. © LukeThatHunts / Twitter

• My sister left a sandwich in the fridge with her name on it, but I decided to eat it anyway. When I opened it, I saw it was just 2 pieces of bread and a note that said, “You suck, Kyle.” © Kyle27*** / Twitter

• My son told me he came downstairs after we tucked him in last night, and he heard “gorilla sounds” coming from our bedroom. I never thought we’d have “the talk” this soon, but I sat him down and told him about irritable bowel syndrome. © HenpeckedHal / Twitter

• I was probably around 5 yrs old and just learning to read. So my family goes to a restaurant and we’re waiting to be seated.
  My dad was holding me. I get eye level with this thing that read “pull”... so I did. It was the fire alarm. I emptied the place. © thehicklife / Twitter