I Don’t Regret Reporting My Ex-Husband to the Police

Relationships
2 weeks ago

It’s reasonable for someone to cut off all ties with an unfaithful ex. However, for one woman, years of no contact were disrupted when her ex-husband unexpectedly showed up at her doorstep. His surprising request caught her off guard, leaving her in an awkward and uncomfortable situation.

He showed up without any warning.

I was married to my ex, Dan, for six years until we divorced in 2020 because he cheated with Kate. Dan and Kate have a 3-year-old son, born while he was still married to me. Since the divorce, Dan moved out, and we haven’t spoken.

Last week, he dropped his son at my house without any warning, mentioning that Kate was having complications with their second child’s delivery. He left before I could object, and despite my attempts to contact him, he hasn’t responded. I was lost and confused, especially since I had plans, and they certainly didn’t involve taking care of someone else’s child.

So, I ended up calling the police and explaining the situation—how my ex dropped his son at my house and wasn’t responding. The police took the child. Later, my ex called me in the early hours, upset that he missed the birth of his second child due to being forced out of the delivery room by the cops. Kate is in intensive care with complications.

He argued that his and Kate’s parents couldn’t care for his son due to distance and health issues. I told him he should’ve thought about that instead of leaving the child from his affair at my place, especially considering our strained relationship. Some friends and family support me, but others side with my ex, saying I shouldn’t have involved the police and should’ve looked after the kid.

She revealed some important details in the comments.

She was correct. He should have contacted her well in advance to discuss this issue and get her agreement or found alternatives. There are always alternatives.

Reply
  • “I did not know the child, nor I have ever met him before. I knew my ex had a son, that’s all. I had no idea they were expecting the other one until my ex dropped his son, as I don’t follow him on any social media.” Major-Table-3158 / Reddit
  • “I have blocked my ex-husband but had to unblock his number temporarily when he dropped off his son. I don’t care much about what he says, but was a bit surprised to hear some of my own family members saying I should have spent the time babysitting the kid, since the kid is innocent and to be a good human being.” Major-Table-3158 / Reddit
  • “I had plans made for that day, which I couldn’t cancel. Moreover, I am fostering some animals, and not all of them that are in my care do well with small children.” Major-Table-3158 / Reddit

Reddit users sided with her.

  • “It’s not your fault or your problem that your ex and his girlfriend have no friends, and the best person he can think of to call on in an emergency is an ex who hasn’t spoken to him in three years. I imagine he’ll think twice before he does that again.” AfterSevenYears / Reddit
  • “We lived in Germany when we had our second and neither of our families were anywhere near us. So we had a friend agree to take our oldest while I was in the hospital. If that wasn’t an option my husband would have waited in the waiting room with our oldest. None of our options involved dropping her off at someone’s house without permission.” melodytanner26 / Reddit
  • “The cheating ex isn’t the only one at fault. Good old Kate, the AP, was involved, too. What to do with the child should have (and likely was) part of the birthing plan. They had a good 8 months to figure this out.” blondeheartedgoddess / Reddit

You were absolutely in the right. Women who disagree are just pushovers and let themselves be walked on by men, and think that you should, too. You go, girl!

Reply
  • “People just don’t expect other people to call the cops or CPS unless they don’t know the child or think the child is in mortal danger from the parent (and sometimes not even then). They just expect people to take care of kids, regardless of the circumstances or their feelings” HellaShelle / Reddit
  • “I just had my third baby and while we had multiple backup plans to call friends in case of an emergency, they still take time to execute. If I needed immediate medical attention, I was going to the hospital in an ambulance alone. My husband’s primary responsibility was to our older kids. While conscious, I am an adult and can advocate for myself. If I wasn’t conscious, the doctors would do everything necessary to save me and baby without my husband hovering nearby.” angeliqu / Reddit
  • “There is the novel concept called ’paid babysitters.’ They had months to find one. Insanity.” nolamom0811 / Reddit

Handling a relationship with an ex can be quite challenging. Some people on Reddit opened up about moments when they recognized they should have ended things with their ex-partners much earlier.

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