I Refuse to Give Up My Christmas Vacation Just Because I’m Child Free

When our careers come before having kids, it can lead to some tension between us and coworkers who don’t understand our decision. One of our readers recently had an experience like that in her workplace and decided to share her story with us.

This is Rita’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

I’ve been working for my current employer for the last 5 years, and I usually work over the holidays. But this year I have a Christmas family trip. So, 2 months before my vacation, I requested leave, as per our company policy.

My request was granted a few days later. When my coworker, Sally, found out about it, she came over and asked If we could swap vacation days. She said that her husband’s leave wasn’t granted and that they had planned a trip to Disneyland with the kids, so she hoped she could use my days instead.

I told her that I had an important family event that couldn’t be missed, but she didn’t want to accept my answer. She tried to push me into a corner, saying I had nothing booked, so I could just ask my family to change the dates.

I refused. There was no way we were going to move our “Christmas trip,” to January because she had put her request in too late and couldn’t get off sooner. She was upset about it, but we didn’t discuss it, so I thought things had returned to normal. I was wrong.

A couple of days later, I was walking past my boss’s office and I heard her telling him that I wouldn’t swap my days with her because I didn’t have kids. And I didn’t know what it was like to be a mom. I was shocked, but I wasn’t just going to let it go.

Shortly after that, my boss called me in to ask if I would reconsider. He said I had to understand that children came with responsibilities and that it’s important to have a parent with them during the holidays. I couldn’t believe he was being so inconsiderate of my situation.

I told him that his request was unfair since I had done everything the right way and Sally was being irresponsible by not applying on time. It wasn’t the first time this happened, either. She always tries to swap with us and uses her kids as an excuse every single time.

So I decided to put in my next request for leave. I told my boss I know it’s early, but I’d like to apply for maternity leave, for 6 months from now. What they didn’t know was that I was 12 weeks pregnant with my first child.

I insisted on the trip because it would be the only time my entire family would be together, and my fiancé and I wanted to share the news with them in person. But now my boss and coworker are upset with me. They say that I used my pregnancy to get what I wanted.

So Bright Side, what’s your advice? How should I deal with this?

Regards,
Rita S.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story, Rita. We understand how complicated situations like these can get so we’ve put together a few tips that might be helpful.

Treat what happened in your boss’s office as a serious incident.

The moment you overheard Sally telling your boss that you “don’t understand because you don’t have kids,” this stopped being a scheduling issue and became a pattern of misrepresentation. Write down exactly what you heard and how your boss repeated that same reasoning when he called you in. This isn’t petty; it’s the only way to protect yourself if the situation escalates. Your boss used her false narrative as the basis for asking you to give up something you followed the rules to secure. Documenting it ensures that if this behavior continues, you’re not fighting a “he said, she said” battle later.

Make it clear that approved leave is final.

You already know this isn’t a one-time issue, you said Sally tries this every time she doesn’t plan ahead. The next time anything like this comes up, don’t debate or defend why your leave matters. Simply point back to the original approval and remind them that you followed the exact process the company requires. You don’t need to engage in emotional arguments about whose reason is more “important.” Bringing the conversation back to the confirmed approval stops your boss and coworker from dragging you into another tug-of-war every time she wants to rearrange her schedule at the last minute.

Get HR on record now so they understand the pattern.

Your coworker has already used your personal life to undermine you once, and your boss entertained it. That’s a sign that your upcoming maternity leave could get the same treatment: delays, pressure, or claims that you’re being “difficult.” Meet with HR and explain exactly what happened: that Sally mischaracterized your situation based on assumptions, that your boss acted on that misinformation, and that you’re anticipating similar issues once your pregnancy becomes public at work. You’re not filing a complaint, you’re establishing context. By doing this early, HR sees the full picture instead of treating the maternity leave situation as an isolated event.

Rita finds herself in a difficult situation, but it’s not something she can’t come out of. She isn’t the only one who is struggling with a coworker, though.

Another one of our readers reached out to share their story. Read it here: My Coworker Thought Tossing My Lunch Was Harmless—But It Backfired Hard.