I (19F) grew up the “responsible daughter” in a family of five. My older brother dropped out and moved back home. My younger sister’s still in middle school. I got into a good college out of state with a partial scholarship. It wasn’t free, but it was manageable. I was excited to finally have something of my own.
My dad wasn’t.
He kept saying, “You should just go to community college and work part-time. We need you here. Your mom’s tired. The house needs cleaning. Your sister looks up to you.” It started subtly, but turned into guilt. Constant reminders of how “selfish” I was being by leaving.
The worst part? He said, “If you go, don’t expect this to be your home anymore.”
He meant it.
I cried when I packed. Not because I doubted my decision, but because I was being emotionally disowned for wanting more. For not becoming the family’s second mother.
Now I’m living with a roommate I met two weeks ago who cheers louder for me than my dad ever did. And somehow, that feels more like home than the house I grew up in.
Your Dad is selfish and manipulative. If he wants to help your mother he can climb off that throne of his and do the house cleaning himself. Your parents need to remember it's their job to take care of the children and help them make their dreams come true. Go for yours.
Sometimes it’s your own family that disappoints you the most. Like this woman who dedicated her life to saving others but when her own family needed her, their response left her questioning everything.
If Mom's tired from all the housework, and Dad is the one that's working out of the home to pay bills looks like it's your brother who's living with them scott free after dropping out of school who should be helping your mom. At least let him earn his keep.
