I Refused to Pay for My Husband’s Birthday—So My MIL Canceled It All

Planning a birthday for your spouse can be a stressful experience, especially if your in-laws are too demanding. And, that was the case for this woman. Her MIL expected her son to be given a full-on luxury experience, but what happened next wasn’t exactly a happy birthday ending.

Her MIL wanted to make big plans for her husband.

In this story, the woman recounts, “My mother-in-law texted me a few weeks ago to invite some of my husband’s friends to a surprise birthday dinner. She gave me a list of people to invite and asked to call and make the reservation, so I did, happily.

She first asked me if I wanted to go splits on renting a luxury car for the day which would be $1300! I told her I couldn’t afford that, especially as we have our own birthday plans made (we’re going away for the weekend). I’m not rich by any means.”

She wanted her to pay for everything.

She continues, “It’s a few days before our reservation, and she randomly texted me asking if I’m going to need help paying for dinner for everyone? Is this normal? I can’t afford this? What do I say to that?

I feel so uncomfortable. Am I unreasonable if I tell her everyone can pay for themselves?”

People rushed to her side.

Most people in the comments backed her frustration, advising her, “Tell her point-blank you aren’t paying. This is her idea, and she needs to figure it out.”

They mention that she could simply say, “MIL, my understanding is that this is your event, so you are paying. I cannot afford this, so if the event depends on me paying for it, we will have to cancel.”

The woman later updated her story.

She updated the crowd by saying, “I told her I wasn’t able to do that. Now, FIL has called hubby to say, ‘We thought you were in a good enough place to pay for everyone.’ They are now canceling the dinner and making hubby feel like the bad guy for not fronting the bill for 8 people to dine at a fancy restaurant for his birthday.”

People voiced their thoughts.

Some felt suspicious of the MIL, saying, “Sometimes people do things like this to see how much money you have.”

Others just called out the husband’s parents, commenting, “MIL is unhinged. Then the FIL actually called his son to tell him off for not paying for eight people. They’re so unhinged, they truly deserve each other.”

Some people related to her story.

A commenter recounted, “My sisters-in-law and I threw a surprise birthday party for my wife recently. I chose the dinner spot and I covered the bill for everyone, knowing I could afford the location. Who makes a booking and asks you to pick up the tab?”

Another comment related, “My MIL used to pull that all the time. Now, when she asks, my first response is to ask who’s paying for it.”

It might be possible the MIL wanted her to look bad.

Some commenters suggested that the MIL is making her look bad on purpose, saying, “She’s setting you up to look bad,” and “Feels like you are getting tricked by MIL. It’s her idea. She would pay.”

One comment even asks, “Has she tried to pull stuff like this before? Is it a power play? Something feels wrong here.”

With everyone supporting the woman, it seems that the MIL was in the wrong in this situation. Involving the FIL in the situation and the phone call likely made things even worse. Some in-laws just seem to forget boundaries, like this MIL who threw a secret birthday for her son.