I Took My Son’s Phone, but I Didn’t Expect His Reaction

Raising teens in the digital age isn’t easy, especially when screens seem to dominate every moment of their lives. For one mom, her son’s growing attachment to his phone and his changing attitude became too much to ignore. Feeling frustrated and out of options, she finally decided to take his phone away. Hoping to find some clarity, she turned to us for advice on what to do next.

“As a mom, nothing hurts more than feeling invisible to your own child. My 12-year-old son used to be chatty and cheerful, but lately, he’s been glued to his phone. No matter what I said or did, his eyes stayed fixed on the screen — barely a nod, no real conversations.

One night, after watching him scroll through yet another dinner without a word, I decided I’d had enough. Once he was asleep, I quietly took his phone and gaming console and hid them away. I knew he’d be upset, but I needed to remind him there’s a world beyond that screen — one filled with family, love, and real connection.

The next morning, he stormed into the kitchen, panicked. ‘Mom, where’s my phone?’ he demanded. I stood my ground and told him calmly but firmly, ‘You’ll get it back when you start being respectful and spending more time with your family.’

He didn’t take it well. He stomped off and slammed his bedroom door.

Hours later, I walked into the kitchen and found a handwritten note. It read:
‘I’m staying at Jake’s tonight. Don’t worry. Maybe I’ll come back when you stop acting like a prison guard.’

My heart dropped. I called Jake’s mom right away. Thankfully, he was safe and with her. She said he seemed a little shaken but otherwise okay.

Now, I’m torn. I don’t want to be the kind of parent who pushes their child away. But I also can’t let him lose himself in his screen. I want to raise a respectful, balanced person, not someone who escapes the moment he’s challenged.

I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only parent facing this. Technology is a blessing, but it’s also a barrier when it replaces real connection. I’m still learning, and I’m open to advice. How do you help your child find balance in a world that’s always online?”

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us! We have compiled some of the best practices to help you handle the situation and improve your relationship with your son.

Set up rules together

Instead of completely taking away his devices, establish clear and fair boundaries for when and how he can use them. Create a schedule together so he feels involved in the process, like setting specific times for meals, family activities, and homework.

Emphasize that you’re not banning screens but teaching him how to balance his time in a healthy way. Also, make sure that he is aware of what behaviors can result in his privilege of screen time being taken away.

Be a good example

Kids often mimic what they see, so be a good role model by limiting your own screen time. Show him that you put your phone down during meals or when having a conversation. Let him see you choose reading a book over scrolling on your phone. This creates a shared goal rather than making it feel like he’s the only one being monitored.

Make things together

If you want him to spend more time with the family, make family activities something he looks forward to. Plan things you know he’ll enjoy, like a movie night with his favorite snacks, cooking a meal together, or going out for an activity he’s excited about.

Every once in a while, it can be helpful to have a family-wide screen-free day. You might even consider a longer digital detox, like a week-long vacation from electronics twice a year. It’s a great way to ensure that everyone still has plenty of activities to engage in that don’t involve electronics.

Being a parent of a teenager is not easy and can result in other confrontations, not only about screen time, but also about pocket money. You can find great tips about the latter in our 8 Easy Ways to Teach a Teenager How to Handle Money article.