How I Responded When My Son Suddenly Started Insulting Me

Children are the main reason public transport is crowded every morning — millions of people commute to work to afford everything within their means for their little ones. As years go by, some parents start noticing that their kids never seem to have enough. And that is the precise moment when the blindfold falls off, and they realize they’ve been raising an ungrateful person.

Letter to my son

Before you came into my life, I only had to take care of myself. On weekends, I would stay out late and spend as much money as I wanted on things for myself or my home.

I won’t lie — I wasn’t prepared to see those two little lines on that pregnancy test. Nevertheless, knowing you were on your way gave me such a surge of happiness that could have never been compared to going to the movies or a new pair of shoes. I loved you from that very moment.

My priorities drastically changed. I went from daydreaming in front of the showcases of expensive jewelry to doing the same in baby stores. I wanted to buy everything! But the most frequent phrase in my head was, “I can’t afford it.”

When I found out you were going to be a boy, I painted our little house in all shades of blue. I saved every penny to pay for whatever you might need, like that little wooden crib I had seen in the store.

I’ll never forget the day I held you in my arms for the first time. I couldn’t believe that such a perfect little creature —so unique and magical— had come out of me. My heart was about to burst out of my chest.

I immediately became your most loyal protector and put my own life aside for you. Gone were the occasional outings and the treats I indulged in. Nothing pleased me more than seeing your smile after running all day in the park. What a happy childhood you had!

No one warned me how challenging your adolescence would be. After you turned 12, things changed. You started distancing yourself and became moody and less affectionate. You no longer wanted to spend time with me at home, and going to your friends’ houses became your favorite sport.

I didn’t have the heart to argue with you, so I got another job to keep busy and not think about how devastated I was.

During that time, hundreds of repressed reproaches came to light. I still remember one of them as if it were yesterday.

One night, when you were 15, you came home in an awful mood. I asked you timidly if you were okay, and I saw your eyes were filled with resentment. You went straight to the point and asked me why we didn’t have our own house. I answered that it wasn’t that easy and that they were expensive.

Then, a few darts came out of your mouth that went straight to my heart: “Mom, that’s the last straw! You’re a loser and a freeloader. I’m ashamed to be related to someone with no money.”

The following month, our landlord came to collect the rent, and you offered him a $50 “tip,” remember? You told him that I was a cheap tenant and that I was taking advantage of him. I was shocked.

I tried explaining that you don’t tip landlords, but you would not listen to me. I couldn’t recognize you in the person who replied that you would own many houses and evict single mothers. I was heartbroken.

I’ve been part of a competition of you comparing your life to that of your friends. Needless to say, I have lost every single time. The sacrifices I’ve made mean nothing to you.

What’s worse, you are ashamed of them. We hardly talk anymore, and I see very little of you. I don’t know how we got to this point, but I feel I am not the mother you would have wanted to have.

Today you turn 18 and officially become an adult. I have tried by all means to get close to you and to win your love back. It’s all been in vain because you only have rejection, harshness, and insults for your mom.

On the other hand, you will always be my beautiful child who came to change my life. However, with great sorrow, I need to make a radical decision that will help you understand that the value of a person is not in their possessions.

I worked two jobs for years, and you were always my motivation. I saved everything I earned for your college education, so you would have a better life than I did. But you are no longer the recipient of those hard-earned dollars, I am.

I will have a fresh new start in another city, and I hope to hear from you when you finally understand that there is no purer love than that of a mother. I leave you this letter as a legacy, a teaching, and a farewell.

Mom

Raising a child who rebels against you and expresses anger or frustration can be a heart-wrenching experience. It’s a challenging chapter in parenthood when they start to distance themselves and may even say hurtful things. However, it’s essential to remember that being a parent is a full-time job and there are some common mistakes every janitor can make.