My Stepmom Demands That I Give Up on My Dream So Her Daughter Can Go to College

Usually, getting admission to a University makes that person and the family happy. But it can also mean a heavy financial burden on the parents. Especially, if they have two children with the same ambition, as in the case of one of our readers, Elizabeth.

Conflict with stepmother

Dear Bright Side,

I got into my dream university last week. I was thrilled as I’ve worked very hard to get into it. But my happiness didn’t last long after my stepsister, who is the same age as me, was also admitted to an expensive, distant university.

My stepmother said our family doesn’t have the money to pay for both of us, so only my stepsister can study, as she is more likely to succeed in her career as a lawyer. While I only wanted to learn literature and probably be a teacher later.

I told my stepmum that it is not fair, both of us should have the chance to study. I also argued that my grades were much better than hers, so the cost of my studies would also be much smaller, as I could get a scholarship, while my stepsister didn’t have a real chance for it.

I also tried to get some help from my father, but he didn’t want to argue with his wife and said the same; only my stepsister can go on to higher education. Now, I’m very disappointed. I don’t want to give up on my dream, but I don’t want to fight with my family either.

Thank you, Elizabeth, for your letter! We are sure that your situation might sound familiar to other readers. Let’s see what choices you have now.

Stick to your dream

The first option is not giving up your dream and still going to University. It also means, though, that you have to finance your studies alone, without the help of your parents. You mentioned scholarships, which would be a great start, but usually, they would only cover the tuition fees. Which means you still need to cover your accommodation, your food, and any additional costs.

To do that, taking a job besides your studies would be necessary, making your free, easy Uni life much harder. Of course, that’s a solution many students use in a similar situation. Another option is to ask for a student loan that you will pay back later. Even better if you can borrow some money from someone in your family, but be careful to lay down the rules of the payback.

Postpone your studies

This might be the tougher option, but you can also choose to postpone your studies. Until then, you can find a job and save money for your studies. This way, you would also avoid any further confrontation with your family. And who knows, if they see that you are working hard and haven’t given up on your dream, they might reconsider your support.

During this time, you can also rethink what you want, if you still want to study further, and stick with your chosen school. Getting more experience in life can make the decision easier, while you can also pick up some new skills and interests.

And what do you think Elizabeth should do? Feel free to share your views with us, and any advice you would give to her.

To live with a step-parent is often not easy, but there are examples of great ones in our 16 Stepparents Who Proved They Can Be Real Parents to Their Stepchildren article.