We Don’t Always End Up With the Loves of Our Lives (And Why That’s Alright)

Believe it or not, studies have shown that men are generally more certain that they are currently dating or marrying their soulmate than women. While this may not be true for everyone, we know that love can be complex, and it can be difficult to say goodbye to them. However, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to let go of a relationship that no longer serves us, even if we’re giving up on our true love.

Many of us have felt that “love of your life” kind of love.

Some people meet their perfect match at first sight, while others gradually develop romantic feelings for a close friend. Interestingly, research shows that the majority of romantic relationships (66%) start out as friendships, which can lead to more enduring connections.

Despite our deepest desires, not all of us end up with the love of our lives, and that’s perfectly fine. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes the people we thought were our soulmates turn out to be just temporary companions. It’s important to accept this fact and be open to new experiences and relationships. After all, you never know where you might find the love you deserve.

But one thing that we didn’t know was that we might not be able to keep that precious person.

Cherishing something dear to our hearts forever is a bittersweet experience, as it brings joy and sorrow in equal measure. Yet, the most heart-wrenching of all is when we must bid farewell to the love of our lives. Among a group of 52 individuals who faced the pain of divorce, a staggering 75% of them cited commitment problems as the reason behind their separation.

Perhaps, as time passed, our feelings dwindled, or maybe we discovered that our desires no longer aligned. However, it is crucial to recognize that ending a relationship does not always lead to negative outcomes.

Even if the relationship had ended, there was always something that we learned from it.

Finding the perfect relationship is a dream many of us yearn for, yet it can often feel surreal or unrealistic. Therefore, when we part ways with someone, it might be necessary to let go of the notion of finding “the one.”

According to a study, individuals prioritizing seeking a soulmate often struggle more with resolving conflicts than those prioritizing the growth and development of their relationships. Thus, the best approach is to seek a relationship that brings satisfaction and happiness.

Bonus: A break-up stories and supports from fellow Redditors.

How one Redditor felt when they parted ways with their partner:

• Someone I deeply loved just left for his big promotion. We decided it would be better if we broke up instead of going the distance. I’m a senior in college (at 30) and have been beating myself up for my third failed relationship in my 20s.
  I live somewhere new, with no deep friendship connections. Just me, my dog, and my cat. Things are dark. I could use some support and love. © Elvishcatt / Reddit

However, we couldn’t agree more with what another Redditor had to say:

• Ending a relationship isn’t a “failure.” It’s just the end of a chapter in your life. It’s memories of how you’ve expressed and received love, what works and what doesn’t, the way you grow with other people, and your own personal growth.
  Use this experience to look toward the future when you’re ready to continue the growth of your inner tree. And one day, you’ll look back on this relationship with a smile of gratitude rather than bittersweetness. Your journey of love and discovery is only just beginning. © SimplyMichi / Reddit

This Redditor shares their advice after 1.5 years of breakup:

• It’s rarely the actual event that causes you pain; it’s your thoughts around it. “I’ll never find anyone like that again,” “It was my fault; I ruined it,” etc. Breakups happen all the time. Life is cyclical.
  Relationships are good, and then they’re bad. This is how life works, and this is how we grow. Get out of your head where that annoying inner roommate lives, until they’re nicer and give you a break. © katelauramcgill / Reddit

We might think that this kind of situation is the biggest tragedy in our lives, preventing us from seeing what comes next. But in fact, it might be the thing that will make us happier.