I Broke Up With My Boyfriend After He Complimented My Body

He told me I looked hot. That’s when I knew: this wasn’t love. Was breaking up an overreaction or the only right choice? Read this story below and decide for yourself.

A woman on Reddit shared her story.

To give context, my normal weight is 128–132 lbs. This is the weight I feel healthiest and strongest at. A few months ago, I was very stressed and not eating as much as I should have.

I would only have time to grab a granola bar before going to dance practice for 2–4 hours each evening. We were preparing for Nationals, and I should have been taking in a lot more calories for how many I was burning.

In the space of 3 weeks, I accidentally dropped 16 lbs and was 114 lbs. I looked really thin, and after the adrenaline of Nationals wore off, I felt really weak and would get nauseous. My doctor was worried and had me on a meal plan to get some good fats and proteins into my body.

My boyfriend at the time noticed my loss of weight and complimented me on my skinny figure. I was uncomfortable with his comment but assumed he was trying to be nice and probably thought I had been trying to lose weight. After all, he didn’t know I had been sick from it.

But when I said that I was actually underweight and sick from the sudden weight loss, he brushed aside my health concerns and doubled down and said, “Well, I like you this way. You look sexy.” I was surprised and hurt that he ignored my health, cause he thinks that being underweight is “sexy.”

I tried again to explain to him that I was actually sick, but he wouldn’t listen. I broke up with him a few days later. It's been a few months, and he still hasn’t apologized but messaged me saying that I'm overreacting, and he was just complimenting me. Was I overreacting for breaking up over this?

PS: I’m lucky to be back to my healthy weight range and feeling much better.

Some people highlighted that the problem wasn't in the initial comment.

• The issue isn’t the compliment itself, it’s the fact that he can’t see where he went wrong even when you explained it to him. Just tell him that you don’t want a boyfriend who celebrates you being unhealthy and takes joy in you feeling unwell. @Stormydaycoffee / Reddit

• If he would have just complimented you and left it at that, it could be sweet and seem like he is making sure you’re not feeling self-conscious about your health, but saying he prefers you that way even after you told him the reason is completely insensitive and makes him seem very shallow. @nolan5111 / Reddit

• You didn't break up with him for complimenting you. You broke up with him for essentially saying, "Your health and well-being don't matter because of my superficial preferences. I deserve to have you look the way I want you to look, no matter how detrimental it is to you."
  And then he had the audacity to be indignant that you were upset and try to turn it around as YOUR fault for "overreacting." Nah. You don't need that in your life. @BeingOldRocks / Reddit

But most of them agreed that putting health over appearance is a big red flag in relationships.

• A person who puts looks over health sucks in general, but that he still doesn't comprehend why you were upset is a big red flag. Cut off contact. He's not sorry, he's waiting for you to cave to pressure. @hauntingit / Reddit

• You did the right thing. I would cut all contact with him, really. Your weight is on the lower side; he should have noticed that you weren't eating.
  And for him to say he prefers you underweight and ill is the biggest red flag going. Totally disregarding your health and your feelings. @grandadgnome / Reddit

• He showed his cards—he only cared about using your body. Good riddance. @Hopeful-Artichoke449 / Reddit

• He cares about how you look standing next to him, not how you feel. He doesn’t care about you as a person or your overall well-being. You’re more of an object to him. He’s immature. @SomeoneOfValue / Reddit

• I know I’ve literally never met you in my life, but I’m genuinely proud of you for leaving him. A lot of girls feel too dependent on their partner in times like this, so they fail to leave them when they REALLY shouldn’t be with that person.
  You set a clear boundary and showed respect for yourself! That’s incredibly healthy, and it shows how much self-respect you have! Good job, and happy you’re back in good health. ❤️ AdRadiant8910 / Reddit

But not all compliments come with red flags. Some are funny, unexpected, and actually memorable for the right reasons. From "Wow, you have well-developed quadriceps" to "You're professionally handsome" moments, these 15 compliments stuck with men forever.