I Love My Son, but My Daughter Is a Curse, I Want to Give Her Up for Adoption

Trigger Warning: Raw Parental Struggles Ahead

We recently received a letter from our reader, Janet—and it left our entire editorial team shaken and torn. Her confession dives deep into the darkest, most taboo corners of motherhood: what happens when a parent realizes they simply can’t love their children equally.

Janet believes she’s failed as a mother to her firstborn, a 5-year-old daughter. While she adores her 3-year-old son—calling him her peace, her joy, her everything—her daughter has become a daily source of conflict, chaos, and emotional exhaustion. After years of trying, Janet made a painful and shocking decision: she started looking into adoption.

But just when she thought things couldn’t get worse, her husband revealed a side of himself that only added to her emotional unraveling—one that will leave you questioning who the real villain is in this story.

Read on to uncover every brutal, heartbreaking detail of Janet’s story.

Here’s Janet’s heartfelt confession:

"Hi Bright Side,

I need to get this off my chest before I lose my mind.

I have two kids: a 3-year-old son, and a 5-year-old daughter. I love my son so much it hurts. He’s sweet, thoughtful, playful, emotionally intuitive. Being with him is like breathing fresh air. He’s my peace. Every moment with him feels effortless and full of joy, no matter what we’re doing.

My daughter, on the other hand, feels like a never-ending disaster. She’s demanding, defiant, constantly rude, always interrupting or causing drama. She never compromises, she manipulates, she screams, she tests every boundary like it’s a game. She just wants to have “fun” even if it’s at someone else’s expense or if no one else is having fun.

I’ve tried everything. Positive reinforcement, gentle parenting, firm parenting, sticker charts, consequences, therapy, you name it. Nothing sticks. Five years in, and I’m exhausted beyond words.

So I finally said it out loud. I told my husband I want to look into adoption. I said I can’t keep living like this. I want to focus on the child who brings joy to our lives, instead of drowning in a toxic dynamic that’s breaking me down.

He lost it. Called me a terrible mother. Said I was heartless. Threatened divorce and full custody.

But here’s the kicker: he doesn’t want to parent her, either. When she’s melting down or causing chaos, he vanishes. Leaves the house, shuts himself in a room, or tosses it back on me with “moms are better at this stuff.”

When I told him to step up more if he’s so against adoption, he said, “Raising daughters is a mom’s job.” Seriously? And then, instead of taking at least any responsibility, like a real grown-up, he pulled a stunt to “teach me a lesson.”

He packed a small overnight bag for our daughter and dropped her off at my work—without telling me first. Just brought her in, said “She’s your problem,” and left. He turned off his phone and didn’t come back for hours.

She spent the day in the corner of my office throwing tantrums while I was in back-to-back meetings, sobbing, kicking furniture, and screaming that she was bored and hungry. My boss saw it. My coworkers saw it. It was humiliating and chaotic. I almost lost my job.

And when he finally reappeared, he acted smug. Said, “Maybe now you’ll appreciate how hard it is.” But... I already know. I’ve been doing it alone for years.

The difference is, I’m not abandoning her at his job just to make a point. So yeah. I’m the monster. But I’m also the only one actually dealing with the monster every day while my husband throws stones from the sidelines.

I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do anymore. I need advice and maybe a kind push to a right decision, because I feel like I’m drowning in guilt, responsibility and unexpected childishness of my husband."

Dear Janet, thank you for sharing something so raw, painful, and deeply personal. We understand that you’re not just a struggling parent, your conflict is more about the crushing emotional weight of feeling utterly alone in the hardest parts of motherhood.

When you’re drowning and the person who’s supposed to help you is watching from the shore—or worse, throwing you extra weight—it’s not just frustrating, it’s soul-crushing. Parenting is hard, but parenting without support, while battling resentment, guilt, and judgment, is a special kind of psychological hell.

Here are some steps that we hope can help you build your strategy in dealing with this totally dramatic family situation.

1. Seek evidence-based parenting support: Try Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT).

PCIT is a proven, structured therapy for children aged 2–7 exhibiting defiant, disruptive behaviors. It helps rebuild connection and consistency between parent and child—reducing tantrums and stress while improving your emotional bond.

Action Step: Ask your pediatrician or local mental health provider about a PCIT-trained therapist in your area.

2. Strengthen co-parenting: Align With Your Husband Through Couples Therapy.

A licensed couples therapist can help you and your husband realign parenting roles, improve communication, and share responsibilities—especially when one partner is resistant.

Action Step: Even if your husband resists, consider starting solo therapy to find strategies for addressing conflict productively.

3. Create a support network & self-care routine: Set Up External Help and Personal Recharge Time.

Parenting a challenging child—and considering adoption—is emotionally heavy. Connect with therapists, adoption counselors, and peer support groups. Take regular breaks—go for walks, socialize, pursue hobbies—to avoid burnout.

Action Step: Schedule at least one “me moment” weekly and lean on friends, family, or respite care when needed.

4. Explore adoption options responsibly: Use Professional Guidance & Reflect on Your Emotional Needs.

Adoption is complex and emotionally intense for all involved. Work with a licensed adoption counselor to explore different forms (open, semi-open, closed), consider emotional aftermath, and define lifelong boundaries.

Action Step: Book at least one session with an adoption specialist and prepare a list of questions reflecting your emotional and logistical needs.

5. Manage expectations & celebrate small wins: Be Patient, Consistent, and Compassionate.

Hitting a wall doesn’t mean love is gone—it means skills or strategies need resetting. Focus on simple routines, positive reinforcement, and empathy. Recognize even tiny improvements to help rebuild connection and meaning.

Action Step: Each day, note one small positive interaction with your daughter (e.g., a 2‑minute peaceful moment) to remind yourself progress is possible.

And here’s a story of another mom, who also faced a totally difficult choice. Darla, 34, dreamed of becoming a mother. But not like this. Not under this kind of pressure.

A woman is faced with an impossible decision: adopt a child of her husband’s late ex — or risk losing her marriage and facing lifelong guilt. The twist is that the child is not even her husband’s, it was conceived from an absolute stranger.

As family members push harder, and her husband struggles with his own grief, she’s left torn between her mental health and a desperate little girl who’s lost everyone.

Read how the woman fights to hold on to her sanity, her marriage, and her truth — in a situation where every choice feels like heartbreak.