The stepsibling relationship can be a complicated one. If one side pushes back or there are issues with communication, the family relationship can get strained. Things can get even worse in emotional moments. One of our readers experienced something like this and shared her story.
Dear Bright Side,
My mom and dad got divorced when I was very young, and he never came around after that. A few years later, when I was around 10 my mom got remarried and my stepdad was fantastic. He raised me as his own and he was the best dad ever.
But his kids, who are a few years older than me, didn’t see things the same way. They cut him off after the wedding, and he hasn’t heard from them since. That was 11 years ago and there were no calls and no visits.
They didn’t even come to see him in the last 5 years that he was battling with cancer. And to be honest, it upset me. He was their father, he helped raise them, and yet they acted like he didn’t exist. I swore that I would never do that to him. I’d be there for him in even the toughest of times, and I proved it.
When my stepdad was diagnosed, my mom worked long hours to fill the income gap. So I was the one who took care of him. I cooked for him, drove him to his medical appointments, and stayed by his side in his final days.
My stepdad passed away last month and it crushed me. He had become such a central part of my existence that going through life without him doesn’t seem natural. But there was something else that happened to rock my boat.
When he passed a lawyer contacted me to tell me that my stepdad had left me everything he owned including a fully furnished house, a car and a good amount of cash. Everything a young adult would need to start their life.
I was shocked because I never knew he was so well off. But it also felt like a betrayal because I didn’t look after him with the hope that I’d get anything from him. I did it because I loved him and I didn’t want him to go through this experience alone.
Things got even weirder at the funeral. His son and daughter stormed in and demanded their share of the inheritance. I told them that I didn’t know what they were talking about, and it would be best for them to contact the lawyer.
His daughter glared at me and said, “The lawyer said you got everything. You can either hand it over or we’ll make you regret it.” I told her that she should take a serious look at her behavior. Her empty threats didn’t work with her dad, and they weren’t going to work with me either.
A few days later, I got a letter to appear in court. His children have opened a case saying that they have a right to the money, but I don’t. My lawyer says that they won’t win, but I’m not sure how I feel about all this.
So Bright Side, was it wrong of me to accept the money? Should his children have gotten it instead?
Regards,
Ellie M.
Thank you for reaching out to us, Ellie. We understand how difficult this situation must be, and we’ve put together a few tips that might be helpful.
The guilt trip is working on you. Don’t listen to it. Honor your step dad’s wishes. They should too. But they won’t. Guilt tripping them won’t work. You helped out of sincerity. It’s not a commodity that can be transferred to others. Take the gift as it was given to you.
Keep everything. Your stepfather knew you were the one who truly loved and cared about him. Your step siblings don't have a leg to stand on.
That's why you got everything. You didn't know he was well off. You were there for him, you took care of him and loved him unconditionally. He saw that. He knew you were not doing it to get anything from him. He must've seen something in his kids, so...I'm sorry for your loss. Tell the steps to step off
Not sure how you would have circumvented the fact that he was married to your mom, which would have meant everything should have passed to her, but OK. As soon as those kids show up in court, they will have to defend themselves for abandoning their own father. You put the time & love in. You're cool.
I don't know where you live, but in the US, if your Step Dad, didn't leave his kids anything or even mention them in his will to explain why, they have a good chance at winning a law suit against you. I wouldn't count your chickens just yet
Lol, no they wouldn't, I've seen this play out, maybe in a state like commiefornia but not most places
So you know more than an attorney? She has consulted an actual attorney and they said she's fine.
It would be more wrong to not accept it. He wanted you to have it. Keeping it honors his wishes.
It's absolutely yours and you should not share it at all unless something wonky happens legally and a judge says you have to. But that sounds unlikely. It's yours. Ethically, morally, financially, legally. They can go pound dirt.
I’ve seen this happen one too many times working in a hospital med/surg floor. One time I had a patient who was in the hospital 3 weeks before she passed away and her 2 kids never bothered to visit her and she was disappointed in them. She started too go into decline and the doctors called her kids and they finally showed up on the day she died but before she took her last breath they were already fighting over who go everything from her. They caused a big scene in our hallways and visiting room so they were escorted out of the hospital. It was just so sad that all they cared about was what she had left them in her Will. It turned out she had nothing because prior too coming too the hospital she was in a nursing home and anything she had went too pay for her living there.
Your stepdad knew exactly what he was doing. He had legal counsel and set it all up. Your step siblings will have to prove in court that he was either influenced by you or he was incompetent. Trust your attorney. They didn't want anything to do with their father until greed showed up. Don't second guess anything your dad knew where all the loyalty and love was coming from and it wasn't from them.
No it's not wrong for you to have what you're dad wanted you to have. You're the only one that was there for him when he needed his family therefore you are his family. The dismissed him so he dismissed them in the end and that is exactly what he wanted honor your dad's wishes.
You did nothing wrong by accepting what your stepdad chose to leave you, his will reflects his wishes. Keep close contact with your lawyer, follow their advice, and try not to let his kids’ threats shake you. They abandoned him for years, but you stood by him. The law is on your side, but your peace of mind matters just as much, so set boundaries if their harassment continues.
Tell them to fuck off and move on you have what you're father wanted you to have.
Right now, you might feel conflicted, like the inheritance somehow cheapens the love you had for your stepdad. But the truth is, he left everything to you because you loved him unconditionally, not because you expected anything. Accepting his gift is not selfish, it’s part of how he chose to honor the bond you shared. Give yourself space to grieve him without second-guessing that love.
You’ve been handed both a huge responsibility and an opportunity. Instead of letting guilt or anger over his kids’ actions consume you, try to use what he left you in a way that feels meaningful. Whether that’s building a stable future, creating something in his memory, or simply living the kind of life he’d be proud of. That way, his legacy continues through you.
Ellie’s situation is definitely a tough one, but she’s well within her rights to accept the things that her stepfather has left her. And she doesn’t owe his children a thing.
But she isn’t the only one who has had problems with stepsiblings. Another one of our readers also reached out, this is her story: My Stepsister Brought No Gift to My Daughter’s Party—Then She Tore My Family Apart.
Your stepfather made his wishes known. The only person to consider sharing with is your mom, as she also loved and helped him.
Take a deep breath and relax honey. You have a lawyer, they will take care of you and YOUR inheritance.
There is a reason you got everything and they got nothing. You didn't disown him or treat him badly. You loved him like he was your dad. You were there for him before and after he became sick and most importantly he knew you took care of him because of love and not money.
You deserve everything he left you and his bio kids dont deserve a thing since they cut him off and didn't bother with him for over a decade.
Let your lawyer deal with it.
I think if anyone should get any sort of share its your mother as she was also a part of his life and loved him.
Maybe they had a conversation and she told him to give you anything he was going to leave her but she does deserve something.
Document EVERYTHING, including any threats made against you, physical or verbal threats. Also be ready to have a restraining order ready in case things escalate. DO NOT back down! I would also be prepared for the verbal/mental/emotional harassment against your mother by them, especially when they 'claim' she needs a psychological examination to determine her competency. That usually is a warning to try to force her to go to a nursing home. It's called 'psychological abuse'. Should they end up trying that, there may be a case for elder abuse. Also, be prepared for them trying to report you, for 'elder abuse'. All this is a ploy to wear you down and leave you with nothing.
There's so much missing, like why the kids cut him off in the first place? Was it an affair? I'm not going to make the bio kids villains yet until I know why they cut their father out of their lives.
