I Refused to Help My Sister Save Her Dying Kid, My Money Isn’t a Family Tradition

It's the life of a child, money is nothing when it comes to that. And after the treatment begins they can start to look around for charities that help cover things like that for kids.

Phyllis Popp

Nancy Walter

It's an experimental unproven treatment.

3 weeks ago

The comment is deleted. The party is over.

Sheena Nixon

She was harsh and yah, she doesn't owe her sister anything, but the family that are harassing her, why aren't they helping her sister? They are so angry at OP for not helping because she has money but what about the rest of the family?

3 weeks ago

This comment got punished.

Yuniques

It's your right for not help in finance or other things. Too bad, you seems to life alone. So it's also their right for not helping you someday, whenever you need help, even you just alone and you speak every reason for it. Believe me, you'll getting old, that day would come. Nobody can strive living alone, they will need someone to rely, and you just cut it the way you like it.

Yuniques

Maybe living alone is preferable to having to PAY FOR THEIR COMPANY.

Jennilynn Kmiotek

You pretty much are a monster, yes. You didn't even look into the treatment or take half a minute before casually saying you don't care enough to help. If you think "boundaries" will matter at all when the child dies, you are delusional. There won't be boundaries because she will never speak to you again. Exactly what you deserve. Saved 20k and cut your sister out of your life permanently, what a savings.

Jennilynn Kmiotek

How do you know that she didn't look into the treatment available? Emotional BLACKMAIL isn't desperation, it is MANIPULATIVE, and it smacks of entitlement. If this child doesn't have a real illness, the mother is using her for her own financial gain. If the child truly is ill, the OP will be living with her decision for the rest of her life. NO ONE, NOT YOU, NOT ME, AND NOT HER FAMILY get to say that she is a terrible person for her choice. In a lot of cases, we say those things and we are correct. This is NOT one of those cases. People who are BILLIONAIRES and can afford to GIVE AWAY 90% of their wealth, and STILL BE BILLIONAIRES, but could SAVE AN ENTIRE HOSPITAL FULL OF PEOPLE WITH A RARE DISEASE, but DON'T, are treated better than this poor woman, who BTW, is just protecting herself. If you had been FINANCIALLY taken advantage of, BY YOUR FAMILY, you would most likely, do the exact same thing as the OP.

P S

2 weeks ago

Jennilynn Kmiotek

Wow. Reading a lot more than I saw.

Willows

Regardless of other boundaries, I personally wouldn't be comfortable funding an experimental treatment on a 4 year old.

Casper

Doesn't sound to me like you let it go. And never will, you sound petty

Casper

And when the treatment doesn't work they will keep asking for more. When OP is ready to retire are they going to cough up the money for her to live the life she HAD BEEN SAVING FOR? SHE is a realist, not petty. But hey, ask for the address and YOU CAN SEND THEM MONEY!

T B

Family must not be that important to you. If it would truly save her life I think you are a monster. Money means nothing without your loved ones. In the end of you loose every bit of possessions you have who will be by your side?

T B

Someone that she DOESN'T have to BUY, to maintain the relationship.You can't blame her, because the child is ill. She is NOT the only family member, why isn't anyone else ponying up some cash?

barbara Nivens

So, ask all of them why they aren't giving your sister what they can. "Why aren't you contributing money to her? Get everyone together and you'll come up with it. Leave me alone." And ask all of the social media posts the same thing. Betting you hear all kinds of reasons why.

Yarielist Yggdrasil

barbara Nivens

Because a lot of human being are HYPOCRITE. They can scold / lecture other without doing anything.

Then the flood hit: parents furious, brother disgusted, old relatives suddenly “checking in.” And the kicker? My sister posted a video online, shaving her head, saying she’s “doing what she can because her greedy sister turned her back.” It went semi-viral in our town. I got hate DMs. Even my boss asked if I was okay.

Now I’m sitting here wondering if I’m actually the villain. But deep down, I know that one broken rule can wreck years of boundaries.

So yeah, maybe I’m cold. Or maybe I just learned that a broken heart costs less than a broken bank account."

This is what Bright Side readers had to say to Terry after reading her story:

@mila_42
Honestly? I get it. Boundaries exist for a reason. You warned everyone long ago. It’s not your job to fix financial messes just because you share DNA.
@coffee_and_100%regret
I don’t think you’re evil, but wow... your niece is literally sick. Sometimes, rules should bend for the people you love.
@blueskull88
She emotionally manipulated you and then went public to shame you. That’s not desperation, that’s cruelty. Stay strong.

Phyllis Popp

It's experimental. No guarantees for success. What if the loan doesn't get paid back? Now that relationship is ruined as well. I don't loan anything to anyone unless I can afford to give it. Lessons learned from prior experience. The family knows her rule. Manipulative for them to ask. Set up a gofundme account and tap other friends and relatives.

@jenny.xo
This is rough. I’d probably give the money and resent it later. But I can’t say you’re wrong for protecting yourself.
@dave_1990
You sound like someone who values control over compassion. Your sister didn’t steal from you, she asked for help. Big difference.
@PixelPasta
People keep saying “it’s for the child,” but no one’s talking about how OP already got burned once. Patterns matter.

RJ m

You have a right to say now that's most important but others now have a right to judge you and to treat you differently to shun you to send you hate mail to do you and yours harm you have to weigh the consequences of your actions. Being burned financially may not be as bad as being burned socially or finding yourself actually burning when somebody throws a Molotov cocktail through your window. You cannot control nor can you get upset that your sister reacted by publicly stating what you did now if she has a legitimate situation with her daughter whether the daughter will get cured or not despite the comment from the supposed relationship coach below me, your sister did an acceptable action and called you out. If she's lying the truth will come out but if she's not the consequences will come out. So you did not get burned financially that is your right to protect yourself financially but it is not your right to have your comments kept private. So hopefully your sister is lying to you because if she isn't this is going to impact your life it's going to impact your career because regardless of what you say your employer asking if you're okay and your coworkers will judge you as is there right and there is nothing you can do about it and you deserve what you get. And if it is true I hope somebody actually does burn you your children your husband in my situation I would hurt all of you except for pets I don't believe in hurting pets pets are more important than children. I've actually seen kids go after animals and I've thrown bottles at the kids and done in a way so that they can't drink it back to me. So I hope for your sake that she was lying and I hope that if she's telling the truth your community attacks you physically and violently and make sure you regret your foolishness have a nice day

@sunsetmirror _993
Your sister’s video was pure drama. Public humiliation over private refusal? That says a lot about her, not you.
@K4tFish11
I think both sides failed. She shouldn’t guilt you, but you could’ve offered something — even help raising donations.
@tinYbutAngry@
If my sibling refused to help my dying kid, I’d never forgive them. You chose money over family, plain and simple.

Advice from Bright Side team:

Why did she only go to the sister?if everyone knew about they could have looked money together relatives instead of pointing fingers dig out your wallets

Dear Terry,
Your rule kept you safe, but maybe it’s time to redefine what “help” means. Not money, but presence. You can stay firm without staying distant. Reach out privately, not to pay, but to listen and show you still care. Boundaries protect you, but compassion keeps you human.

Don’t fight your sister online. Silence will say more than any comment ever could. Send her a short, kind message when things calm down, something that reminds her you love your niece even if you can’t fund her care. Offer to help in non-financial ways: research grants, organize a fundraiser, and connect her with medical aid programs. And most importantly, stop defending yourself to everyone else; people forget drama, but peace of mind lasts longer than their approval.

Some choices break your heart, no matter what you decide. And sometimes, love demands more sacrifice than we think we can bear. At Bright Side, we recently received a letter from Nina, a 55-year-old woman whose life suddenly demanded she choose between her lifelong dream and her precious five-year-old granddaughter. Nina found herself in an agonizing battle between loyalty, love, and self-respect.

This is not just a letter. It’s a mirror, reflecting the silent struggles, so many women carry inside. Nina’s story will pull you in, break you apart, and make you question what it truly means to love... and to live. Read Nina’s powerful confession here.

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William Bodell

What a selfish clown. I truly hope she needs help one day and finds it NO WHERE.

Maryann Lima Lawson

Your money you get to choose what to do with it. But that's your sister's daughter and she gets to choose how to react to being told by her sibling that her child's life means nothing to them. So sit there with your money and feel smug. But you do not get to look down on your sister for losing her mind because you literally told her you don't care if her child dies as long as you get to protect your nest egg.

Elaine Whiteley