I Refused a Work Trip Without Babysitter Pay—Now HR Is Involved

Balancing work and parenthood is never easy, especially when employers expect total flexibility without considering the real costs that come with it. Many working parents struggle to juggle work demands and childcare responsibilities, often feeling punished for simply trying to do both. Recently, one of our readers shared her story about what happened when she refused to go on a last-minute business trip without extra pay to cover her babysitter.

Olivia’s letter:

Hi Bright Side,

I’ll have to take a 5-day work trip instead of my colleague who had a last-minute emergency.

The trip is in just 2 days, and I’m a single mom with no one to look after my son on such short notice.

So I told my boss, “I need an extra $200/day to have my nanny babysit my 12-year-old.” After all, I’ll need the babysitter to stay with my son all day, and this is such short notice.

He smiled. I assumed it was done.

But the next day—shock! I came to the office, and there was an email from HR sent to all employees, saying:

“Dear colleagues,
We appreciate your dedication, but please note that the company is not responsible for your life outside of working hours. Covering personal or family expenses is not our obligation.
Any similar request will be considered an extortion of company resources.
Thank you”

Then I found another email, this time addressed directly to me, asking me to meet with my boss.
He told me my request was denied — and that I was free to refuse the trip, but it might impact my future in the company.

Now I’m torn. If I don’t go, I could lose opportunities — but if I do, I’ll have to pay $1,000 out of pocket for babysitting, just because my employer decided to send me away for work.

It feels deeply unfair. I’m doing my best to provide for my child, yet I’m being punished for needing childcare — something every working parent can relate to.

Should a company really be allowed to treat working moms like this?
What should I do?

Erin

Thank you for your letter, Olivia. You’ve shared a situation that many working parents will deeply relate to — being expected to show complete professional flexibility while also managing all the personal responsibilities that come with raising a child. It’s unfair and exhausting.

Here is our advice to you:

Turn your request into a professional discussion, not a personal plea.

Your boss may have seen your request as emotional instead of professional.
Reframe it — explain that last-minute travel creates additional costs for parents and propose a fair policy, like a dependent care allowance or temporary travel bonus.

You’re not asking for sympathy, you’re highlighting a gap in company policy that affects many employees, not just you.

Take the trip, but keep full documentation.

If refusing could risk your career, treat this as a strategic move instead of defeat.

Go on the trip, track every related expense (babysitting, meals, travel time), and submit a full reimbursement report afterward, attaching HR’s email denying your request.
This builds a written record showing how unfair policies affect working parents — evidence that could support future policy change or even legal protection if needed.

Build quiet alliances within your team.

You’re not the only one balancing family and career demands. Talk privately with coworkers who are parents or caregivers. Together, propose small but realistic solutions — like flexible travel rotations, notice requirements, or partial childcare coverage.

A group proposal feels like teamwork, not complaint, and makes HR more likely to listen and act.

Reconsider the company’s values before you sacrifice more.

Their reaction says a lot — they value availability over humanity. Finish the trip professionally, but take time to reflect. Start exploring companies with parent-friendly policies or remote flexibility.

Sometimes the real win isn’t changing the system — it’s choosing a place that respects both your career and your role as a mom.

It’s important to pause every now and then and remember that kindness still exists in the world. These heartwarming stories remind us that kindness isn’t a weakness — it’s actually survival.