I Told My Stepdaughter to Move Out—She Needs to Grow Up

Stepfamilies can come with unexpected hurdles, especially when a new baby is on the way. For Carla, who is currently pregnant, things have taken a complicated turn. She feels that her 26-year-old stepdaughter should move out to make room for the baby. But what Carla thought would be a reasonable request has instead stirred up serious tension within the household. Now, she’s sharing her side of the story.

In a conflicting situation, Carla wrote.

Hi Bright Side!

My stepdaughter has been dragging her feet about leaving her father’s house. I’m 7 months pregnant, and I need space for my baby. To be honest, we needed her bedroom, there’s no other space. After months of hinting, I finally had enough. So I packed up my 26-year-old stepdaughter’s things and told her straight: “Pack it up, princess. The free ride ends now.”

That night, my husband didn’t come home. At first, I assumed he was giving me the silent treatment. I went on my night, the usual, because he sometimes does that. But the next morning, my stomach dropped when I got a text from my stepdaughter. She texted me that she and my husband had decided to move into an apartment together... just the two of them.

I was stunned. Instead of supporting his own pregnant wife and unborn son, he chose to take our savings and pay for a two-bedroom apartment so he and his adult daughter could live “without my negativity.”

I have spent the last year convincing and begging him to buy a bigger house for our growing family. Every time, he dismisses it and says money was too tight. But now he had no problem draining our account to play house with his daughter?

I feel completely betrayed. Instead of preparing for a future together as a family, he abandoned me with our baby when I was so vulnerable and needed him, all because his adult daughter didn’t want to grow up. Am I wrong? I don’t know what I should do.

Carla

Carla, thank you for trusting us with your story. We know it’s not easy to open up about such a deeply personal and emotional situation. We’ve gathered some thoughtful advice that we hope will bring you a bit of clarity, comfort, and support moving forward.

Have an open and understanding conversation with your husband.

It’s clear you’re facing an incredibly painful and overwhelming situation, and your feelings of hurt, betrayal, and frustration are completely understandable. Anyone in your shoes would be struggling with the weight of it all, especially while preparing to welcome a new life into the world.

When emotions are running so high, considering open communication with your husband is essential, but it may be easier and more healing to do so with the support of a neutral third party, like a counselor or mediator. Having someone guide the conversation can create a safer space for both of you to express yourselves, be heard, and hopefully find a path forward with respect and clarity.

Suggest a compromise for the stepdaughter’s transition.

Offer a compromise that gives your stepdaughter a clear timeline to become independent, without putting further strain on your shared finances. You might suggest she temporarily stay with a relative or find a roommate situation while she works toward financial stability.

This approach allows her time to adjust without feeling abandoned, while also protecting your growing family’s resources. If she’s struggling with finances, you could also offer to support her by helping her look for employment or creating a basic budget plan to set her up for success.

Create financial boundaries.

If your husband feels strongly about moving with his daughter, request full transparency regarding your family finances. Establish clear boundaries about how much, if any, of your shared savings was used to buy the apartment. You might propose that if he wants to contribute, it should come from his personal income rather than joint savings.

This approach would safeguard your baby’s future needs and keep your broader financial goals, such as purchasing a larger home, on track.

Strengthen your position to secure your and your baby’s future.

If your husband refuses to find a middle ground, prioritize protecting yourself and your baby’s future. It’s also worth considering practical next steps: focusing on securing a stable and supportive environment for yourself and your child, whether that means seeking independent support, legal advice, or leaning on family and friends. Regardless of what your husband has chosen, you deserve to feel safe, supported, and respected as you enter motherhood.

Be sure to understand your financial rights in case the situation worsens. This isn’t about making threats but about safeguarding a stable future for you and your baby, even if your husband’s priorities do not align with yours.

For another story, here’s a financial dilemma between a fiancé who wants to merge their finances and his partner, who can’t give up her financial independence. For details, click this link.