I Waited So Long for Him to Propose—His Reason to Postpone Left Me Broken

Long-term relationships are built on shared dreams, trust, and growing together through life’s twists. But sometimes, we don’t realize we’re the only ones carrying the future forward until something shakes us awake. One reader wrote in with a story that captures this heartbreak all too well.

Here’s what Lucy shared in her letter:

Dear Bright Side,

We’ve been together for almost six years. Lived together for four. We talked about marriage a lot. Or rather, I did. He always said it wasn’t the right time.

First, it was work. Then it was grad school. Then it was saving for a house. Then his sister needed help with her kids. There was always something. I kept telling myself, “He’s just being practical,” but lately it feels more like I’m just... not a priority.

About three months ago, I started to feel something shift inside me. I had quietly started researching wedding venues, even planning how I’d propose to him, like, actually get down on one knee. I thought maybe if I took the lead, he’d finally see how serious I was.

And then last week I overheard him talking to a friend on the phone, saying something like, “I’m just not sure she’s it, you know? I care about her, I do. But I feel like if I wait a little longer, maybe the right person will come along.”

I felt like the floor dropped out from under me. After everything. After all that waiting, hoping, planning.

Now I don’t know what to do. I feel like I was his comfort zone, his ‘for now’ person, not his forever. Like I was the safe option he never truly chose. I haven’t said anything to him yet. I just keep smiling and nodding while something inside me crumbles.

How do I even start to move on from this? From him? From the future, I thought we were building? I feel like a backup plan that never got called in.

Please help me make a decision,
Lucy

Acknowledge the truth, even if it hurts.

What you overheard wasn’t a small comment. It was a window into where he stands, and it’s not where you are. Facing that truth is painful, but it’s the first step to getting unstuck. You deserve someone who doesn’t hesitate about choosing you.

Don’t wait for someone else’s clarity.

It’s tempting to hold out hope that he’ll change his mind, come around, or “see the light.” But your life can’t stay on pause for someone else’s uncertainty. You’ve already waited long enough.

Now is the time to take your own feelings seriously and act accordingly. It’s time for a serious conversation, letting him know you overheard his thoughts and it deeply hurt your feelings.

Remember, you are not a backup plan.

Feeling like the “safe” choice can eat away at your self-worth. But remember: his indecision says more about his fear than your value. You are not someone to settle for, you are someone to celebrate.

That future you imagined? You still get to build it. Just maybe at a later time, with someone who won’t hesitate.

You can always walk away with dignity and a new direction.

If you decide to let go, do it with your head held high. This wasn’t wasted time. It was a chapter that taught you about your patience, your loyalty, and your dreams. Now it’s time to give that same devotion to yourself.

Turn this next period into something to be excited about. Maybe try out some new hobbies, get in touch with friends, or make a career change you’ve always dreamt about.

If this story stirred something in you, you might also like this article about a couple whose engagement faced unexpected pressure. Not from each other, but from their own parents, after a twist in their family dynamics made everything more complicated.