A family vacation is supposed to be a time for bonding, relaxation, and shared experiences. But what happens when those expectations are one-sided? Our reader has been looking forward to her long-awaited trip to Europe, only to find herself treated more like a caretaker than a fellow traveler. As tensions rose, she had to make a difficult choice: prioritize her own happiness or avoid upsetting her daughter.
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𝐰𝐰𝐰.Richnow1
They invited themselves. I would personally ask them to pay for part of the trip etc. You didn't ask them to join in, they intruded.
Tell your daughter that - This trip is paid for by you and with this it means that you don't have to look after their children-make breakfast- be their cleaner. You are on HOLIDAY and the children are NOT your responsibility.
Doesn't that suit you? They are welcome to look for other accommodation. Your daughter is spoiled and very rude, thinks you should keep an eye on her children etc. you have to put your foot down otherwise she and her husband will treat you like a doormat. You have let everything go too far. No more babysitting, no more cooking for them, and no more cleaning, washing etc. You are NOT their free servants.
They will surely get upset etc. and threaten that you will not be able to see your grandchildren etc., but you will see that they will come crawling when they need help...
No you were not selfish...Your daughter and her simp hubby were trying to take advantage of you...good on you for having a good holiday and enjoying yourself
It’s natural to feel guilty when a loved one accuses you of being selfish, but taking care of yourself is not selfish at all. You worked hard to afford this trip, and you have every right to enjoy it. Remind yourself that being a grandmother doesn’t mean sacrificing your own happiness and well-being.
If your daughter expected help, she should have discussed it with you beforehand. Don’t let guilt pressure you into accepting unfair treatment.
If you want to avoid a repeat of this situation, propose a compromise for future vacations. Maybe you can agree to help with the kids for a few hours a day, but still have time to explore on your own. Or, if they need childcare, they should plan for a nanny or babysitter instead of assuming you’ll do it.
This way, both parties get what they need without conflict. Setting expectations ahead of time can prevent misunderstandings.
This situation might be a sign of deeper issues in your relationship. Does she often take your help for granted? Does she respect your personal time?
If this isn’t the first time she has treated you this way, it may be worth addressing the overall dynamic between you. Recognizing patterns can help you decide how to approach future interactions.
You may not be able to solve everything immediately, and that’s okay. Take some time away from the situation before making any big decisions or having difficult conversations. Distance can help both you and your daughter reflect on what happened without reacting impulsively.
When emotions are high, it’s easy to say things we don’t mean. A little space can help both of you think more rationally about how to move forward.
Family dynamics can be complicated, especially when a minor misunderstanding escalates into a major conflict. Margaret, a devoted grandmother, suddenly found herself in a difficult situation after an innocent comment about her daughter-in-law’s twins. Although she had always been supportive of her son’s family, one casual remark about food unexpectedly led to tension, hurt feelings, and strained relationships.
