My MIL Tried to Ruin My Marriage –But I Was Two Steps Ahead

It is said that getting married means being one with your partner. But it also includes marrying into your partner's family. A reader wrote her experience with her mother-in-law, who's trying to ruin their marriage.

She shared her story.

I have been married to my husband for two years now, and in those 2 years of marriage, my mother-in-law is always, should or must be in the frame. When my husband, then-boyfriend, introduced me to his family, his mother looked at me from head to toe and ignored me.

At that time, as my husband's girlfriend, I just smiled and introduced myself to his dad and siblings. During our relationship as girlfriend and boyfriend, I didn't interact much with his family, MIL included. It was only during special occasions that I got to be with them. It was smooth sailing for us, just like every other couple, really.

After 3 years of dating, my husband proposed to me privately, which I really appreciated. It does show that he knows me well because I dislike extra proposals or those public ones. I'm the type who appreciates simple things as long as I know they come from the heart and sincerity.

But when we announced it to his family, his mother wasn't happy because she walked out. My then-fiancé followed his mom, and his siblings told me not to worry about her. It bothered me, though, so I sneaked out to follow them. When I was getting closer, I heard their conversation. "I told you, didn't I? That I'm serious about her and that I want to marry her," then-fiancé said.

"I thought you were joking about it! You had a longer relationship with Lisa, why not marry her?!" When his mother said that, my jaw dropped. That was his ex before me, and they were in a relationship longer than ours.

My then-fiancé and I were open about our past relationship, so I don't find his exes a big issue for me. But it shocked me to find out that my future mother-in-law favors an ex over me. To be honest, I felt hurt even though I knew that my fiancé was on my side, and it's all in the past. It's becoming a big deal now that it's coming from his mother.

I went back to where the others were with a heavy heart. I just pretended that I didn't hear a thing to not ruin the mood of my future in-laws even more. I didn't bring it up to my fiancé because it would just be an issue.

When we got married, I was anxious about whether MIL would do anything crazy to ruin the event. It had me stressed out a week before our marriage. But when my husband noticed my uneasiness, he asked me what was bothering me.

I told him about what I heard when I followed them, and he was surprised. He hugged me and assured me that nothing would happen on our day. I somehow felt relieved after telling him about it. During the wedding day, there was no drama, we were very happy that we were finally and officially husband and wife.

In the first year of our marriage, MIL has been acting clingy to her son all of a sudden. She would visit our home and get the attention of my husband for the whole day, completely ignoring me. At times, I would notice her snooping in our room and going through my stuff. I kept silent and ignored everything she was doing, so I wouldn't trouble my husband about his mother.

But my MIL kept getting worse, she would go to our house for a sleepover, and at midnight, she would knock on our room and ask my husband for help. This somehow disturbed our alone time.

She also visits our house when it's just me, and she pries on what I'm doing and asks me stuff like when am I going to be pregnant, and she also asks if I'm even trying. When I told her that we were still not planning to have kids, she said, "It's a shame, you can't even be a proper wife to my son."

I've been experiencing stuff like that from her, I have kept it bottled for too long. I'm the only one suffering, this was my choice, and I think it's wrong. I feel like it would be unfair to my husband that I have been dealing with this problem alone. I don't know how to bring it up to him now.

My MIL always made it clear that she didn’t like me. She said her son deserved better. I've been painfully aware of these facts, but I'm so close to breaking down.

Then, I found out through mutual friends that she had secretly planned a dinner with my husband and his ex. I felt numb at first, but as soon as it sank in, I was furious. I endured everything so that there would be no further problem, but it's not enough for her.

I had to do something. I immediately called my husband, saying that I had something important to talk about. When he came home, I sat him down and told him everything, what MIL did and said, and my bottled-up feelings and frustrations. He just sat there across me, listening while I was pouring my heart and tears.

He hugged me tightly after and told me that I was so strong for enduring it, but he felt sad that he wasn't able to share my pain during that time. He hoped that I wouldn't do it again because we are married, we have to share our burdens, pain, and problems with each other. I cried again because I was just thankful that he's my husband.

After all the crying, I then told him about the dinner that his mom planned. My husband had no idea about the ex part. He even showed me the message from his mom, where she invited him for a one-on-one dinner to catch up.

We reached out to his ex, Lisa, who my MIL favored long ago. She was just as surprised as my husband, she had no clue he’d be there. The moment she realized what my MIL was trying to pull, she immediately took our side. And ask if there is something she can help with.

On the dinner night, my husband and his mom were "waiting" at the restaurant when she looked up and saw me walking in with his ex. As soon as we walked into the restaurant, we approached their table. I told them, "What a coincidence to see you at the restaurant."

My MIL stammered while asking what I was doing there with Lisa, and Lisa casually said that we bumped into each other at the entrance and decided to invite me to dinner with MIL. I told her, "I didn't know that Lisa and you are still in contact, I thought it was just you and her, what's my husband doing here?"

She responded to me, "It's just a friendly dinner, with Lisa and my son to catch up." She was trying to act innocent, but I wasn’t buying it. I told her, "For all I know you're trying to set up two married people to gratify yourself and torment me more, I had enough of your antics." I turned to my husband and played along with the little act we had planned.

I asked, “So, are you staying for this lovely surprise your mom put together, or are you coming with me?” Without hesitation, he stood up, took my hand, and said, “I’m leaving with my wife.” My MIL tried to stop him, insisting I was overreacting, but he just shook his head. “Mom, you knew exactly what you were doing. And now, so do I.” We left the restaurant.

After that incident, MIL tried calling my husband many times, and when he answered, he just said that they would talk about it after she had reflected on the way she treated me.

What I planned on MIL might be petty, but I think I have a little revenge on everything she has done. This incident just strengthened my marriage, and I'm grateful to my husband for being at my side.

Here's another story of a wife who's been dealing with her mother-in-law that keeps on interfering with her life. To know more about the story, click this link.