My SIL Keeps Criticizing My Parenting—and Her Reason Left Me Stunned

Different parents have their own unique approaches when it comes to raising their children. But unsolicited advice or opinions about one’s way of parenting cannot be avoided for parents. A situation that happened to Lea, a mother of two, who has faced criticisms from her in-laws. She has reached out in hopes of getting advice on her situation.

This is her letter:

Dear Bright Side,

I have two kids, a toddler and a 7-year-old. It’s a rollercoaster experience to raise them, but at the same time— it’s rewarding. In the recent family gathering at my in-laws, everyone was present, which made my father-in-law and mother-in-law happy.

After dinner, while I was helping, I told my kids to stay in the living room and watch some videos so they wouldn’t feel bored. It’s already evening, so playing outside is not good. Letting them sneak or run around their grandparents’ house is also not a good idea.

My sister-in-law noticed it and pointed out that it’s bad to give them screen time when it’s already late. It was only 7 pm, and it was only for a little bit since my husband and I were cleaning up. It was not the first time something like this happened.

She has been criticizing my parenting ever since— saying I was ruining my kids’ future by letting them have more screen time. The first time was when she said that I was carrying my firstborn wrong and demonstrated to me how to carry an infant properly. It’s the same as how I carried my baby. Pointing out the food I feed my kids when she visited our house. Even complained about the school where I enrolled my eldest. My MIL and FIL agree with her. It’s disheartening.

One evening, my SIL showed up at my house tearing up. I was shocked when she broke down and confessed that she was jealous of me. After years of failed IVF treatments, seeing me with my kids made her feel like a failure. That’s why she had been so harsh with me and said those words.

I was stunned. This entire time, she hadn’t been worried about my parenting—she’d been projecting her own pain and frustrations onto me. I feel completely blindsided, and now I don’t know how to confront her without causing a huge family drama. I’d appreciate some advice.

Sincerely,
Lea

Thank you, Lea, for sharing your situation with us. You’re trying to balance your parenting while dealing with family expectations, and it’s frustrating when criticism feels more like judgment than genuine concern.

It’s clear you’re doing your best for your kids, making thoughtful choices like screen time, and trying to care for them. Parenting is already hard without feeling judged, especially when you’re coming from a place of love. Here’s some advice on how to approach this situation:

Acknowledge each other’s pain.

Acknowledge your pain and what you currently feel. It’s better than suppressing it, which might result in resentment later on. It sounds like her pain has been affecting her perception of your life and decisions, which may be why she’s been so critical.

The fact that she admitted her jealousy is huge, but it’s also heartbreaking that her emotional struggles have been transferred onto you in such an indirect and hurtful way. When you do talk to her, acknowledge her pain. You don’t have to agree with her behavior, but recognizing that her struggles are real can be a bridge to understanding.

Set boundaries on parenting criticism.

Gently explain your own perspective. Let her know that while you understand her concerns, you also need space to parent the way you think is best. Make it known that your parenting decisions are yours and your husband’s. You don’t owe anyone justification for the choices you make with love and thought.

Encourage open communication.

Emphasize the need for healthy communication. Maybe suggest a more honest and less hurtful way for her to express her feelings. You could offer to listen to her without judgment when she’s feeling upset, but it would be helpful for her to communicate her feelings in a healthier way.

Protect your own well-being.

Prioritize your peace of mind and your own family dynamic. If things get tense or overly dramatic, it’s okay to distance yourself from the criticism for your mental health. You know your kids and your situation better than anyone else, so trust your instincts.

Her pain is real, but so is yours. Navigating motherhood and judgment is already hard—carrying someone else’s unspoken grief makes it heavier. Give yourself permission to create space if needed and heal on your own terms.

Parenting is already filled with second-guessing and self-doubt, and in this father’s case— it’s quite stressful. Read his story through this link.