My Wife’s Toxic Ex Is Furious With Me—And I Couldn’t Be Happier About the Reason

Some people say the best revenge is living well. But sometimes, it’s watching someone totally lose it over your good life. This Reddit story is absolute proof.

Here is how it unfolded.

My wife shares custody (50/50) of her 16-year-old with her narcissist ex-husband. He’s much older (like 15 years). They’re both teachers, so he knows what she makes (public school—it’s public info).

I am NOT a teacher, and I make good money along with investments that have done well (investment real estate, stocks and other traditional equities, and investments in business ventures).

Anyway, last season he refused to split the cost for their son’s traveling volleyball fees and costs (over $1000). She wanted to give him a chance to split it to show he supports his son, but he said he already paid for a summer pass to the community center for him ($200!!), so he’s done his part and won’t split the volleyball cost.

It’s not about the money to us, so we said, “Fine, we’ll cover it.”

This season, she offered him the same chance. But this time, he wrote a LONG dissertation going back 15 years to expenses he had to cover and things he’s done, and then when she divorced him (he cheated), he had to pay for this and pay for that and on and on and on.

When we started dating and the kids were younger, she would often try to respond point by point to everything he wrote, most of it nonsense she felt the need to refute. I had to train her to stop responding to anything that isn’t relevant because it’s just non-stop back and forth, and that “no” was a full response.

He would send multi-paragraph emails whining about something to make her do something she didn’t need to do, and I got her to just respond with “No.” I think that drove him absolutely nuts.

He calmed down with his behavior when he met his current fiancé, but from what we hear from the stepson, they get into pretty nasty fights, and I think that’s when he starts sending my wife whiny/nasty emails about some stuff he thinks is a grievance and how we victimize him just by living our lives.

We don’t respond to anything that’s irrelevant to the topic. For this case, she responded to his lengthy, whiny email with one sentence saying, “No problem, since you seem to be in a precarious financial situation, my husband and I will cover the cost for <son’s name> volleyball costs.”

Now, mind you, he’s on a teacher’s salary, but his mom is WEALTHY. For example, she bought him a $500k house cash BEFORE he was married, pays for everything for the kids (even though he claims he paid his share), etc.

“We think he’s spiraling because of trouble on the home front with his fiancée (she’s in her late 30s, divorced with 2 young daughters, so over 20 years difference in age with him).

But also because I just bought my wife a new Lexus RX to replace her minivan, and he just saw it the first time during the last exchange.”

He brought up how we are doing home renovations and taking multiple overseas vacations, and she bought her mom a new car (I bought her the car for $11k because her old car died, and she does school duty for our 7-year-old).

And he repeated the same things multiple times in different paragraphs... Dude really was rage emailing!

My wife and I discussed this, and he’s basically pissed because I’m much younger than him but make much more and can treat my family to nice things...

He’s a narcissist and can’t stand it, and it makes us so happy how unhappy he is.

Redditors shared their opinions and similar stories:

• OP, tell your wife as well as yourself to learn Gray Rock and apply it to this dude. Tell your wife to just document it all for future reference or actions. Live your life and let him drown in his. © FlygonosK / Reddit
• Live your best life. Enjoy his angst a little at first, but then don’t. You don’t want to wreck your own karma with Schadenfreude. © writtenwordyes / Reddit
• I’m so proud of you both. And you’re a prime example of “You don’t have to be the child’s biological father to be their father.” Because let’s be honest, the son is probably learning how to be a good, respectful human from you and your wife. © Pale-Cress / Reddit
• OP, I love this for you and your wife... dealing with jealous & materialistic narcissists is almost a leisure sport when you can do it AND enjoy it 😂 Well done !!
  I remember 25ish years ago driving my stepdaughter home in a brand-new, top-of-the-line Audi (that I was driving yesterday; a friend was selling it), and my husband’s ex flew into a reactionary rage-fit for the ages.
  It was even funnier that when she got out of the car, my SD said to her, “Mom, you should get a car like this... It’s WAYYYYY over than yours...” Ah, out of the mouths of babes. © Mystepchildsu****** / Reddit
• My ex-husband is the same way. He paid a whole $70 2 years ago. Clearly it is me, I am bad at math...
  His parents pay for him to pretend to be an adult. My partner and I foot the bill, and he sits back and crows about how we rake him over the coals.
  He says we keep the kids from him, but he never calls. The kids have electronics. They can communicate anytime without ever having to speak to me. He never reaches out. His mother won’t accept a friend request from them.
  The kids are 12 and 14. I hate it for the kids, they deserve better. I’m so glad my husband is supportive. © Past_Interview7097 / Reddit

When all is said and done, you can buy things, but not peace of mind. And when you’ve built a real life with real love, you don’t owe your partner’s bitter ex a single thing.