My Husband Wanted to Date Other People—Now He Regrets It

Relationships evolve, stretch, and sometimes crack under the weight of unmet needs and unspoken fears. In an age where open marriages and unconventional dynamics are becoming more openly discussed, not everyone who enters them truly understands what they’re agreeing to — or how deep the consequences can run.

One woman found herself in the middle of a love triangle she never meant to create... and the fallout left her questioning everything.

“I said ’yes’ because I loved him.”

When my husband first brought up the idea of an open marriage, it felt like the floor dropped out from under me. It wasn’t a conversation, it was an ultimatum. Open marriage or divorce.

I loved him. I still do. So I said yes.

An unexpected twist of fate

For the first few months, I barely dipped my toes into the dating pool. But eventually, I met someone. And not just anyone — Ben, my husband’s best friend. Six months later, we started dating.

At first, it felt harmless. Ben was charming, attentive, and familiar in the way that only someone who already knows your family can be. We went out a few times. We kissed. My husband resented it but stayed silent.

But somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling like an experiment and started feeling like a connection. What I didn’t expect was for Ben to come over one evening and drop a bomb I wasn’t ready for.

A confession and its aftermath

Last week, Ben sat in our living room — the same room where he’d celebrated holidays and birthdays with us — and said the words that shattered the illusion of control, “I’ve always been in love with you. Even before any of this.”

I watched the color drain from my husband’s face. He was silent at first, but the silence didn’t last.

He stood up, furious. Accusing Ben of betrayal, waiting, taking advantage of the situation. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t known.

Now he wants me back but can we ever go back?

Later that night, my husband finally broke down. He admitted he had made a mistake, that he never really thought I would find someone else — especially not someone so close. He said he was scared of losing me for good.

He wants to work things out. He says we can go back. Close the marriage. Heal and try again.

But can we?

I’m torn between loyalty and my feelings.

I never wanted to hurt anyone. Not my husband, not Ben. I followed my heart the best way I knew how in a situation I never asked for.

But now I’m left holding the pieces of two relationships — and I’m unsure which one, if any, can be put back together.

Here’s our advice:

• Communication is always the key in relationships: Whether you’re opting for an open relationship or want to live within the confines of a traditional relationship, it’s always important to check in with your partner and set boundaries.

• Don’t agree to something just to keep the peace: If your heart isn’t in it, that will show — eventually, and painfully.

• Don’t underestimate emotional consequences: Emotional boundaries are harder to define than physical ones — and often harder to manage.

• Sometimes if two people want something different in a relationship, it’s better to walk away: Letting go of a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs doesn’t mean you don’t love the other person. It just means you love yourself more.

Some people can make open marriages work for them beautifully, but this usually happens only when both partners are on board. If the decision is made by only one partner, the results can often be disastrous. Here’s another story of a husband who wanted an open marriage, but then started having problems.