Our nuptial day is intended to be one of our most joyous, and carefully organized to mirror our tastes. Nonetheless, Norma perceived her daughter-in-law's choice of an exclusively vegan menu as inconsiderate, given Norma's family's fondness for meat. She intervened and secretly arranged for meat at the wedding without the bride's consent. This has led to major conflicts, prompting Norma to ask us for guidance.
YOU WERE WRONG. HER WEDDING, not yours. HER CHOICE. You are the type of mother-in-law nightmares are made of. You would have been escorted from the reception along with your "meat" caterer, and rightly so. I would also forbid you from entering my home EVER. You're an abomination of a mother-in-law.
Hello Norma! Thank you for your letter. We have prepared a few tips we believe can help you navigate this situation.
Plus why are so many people offended by vegetables?? My husband is a mostly meat eater, but every now and then, he wants a veggie burger.. That perspective is so wild..
Start a gentle and understanding dialogue with your daughter-in-law. Recognize her views on veganism and apologize for the confusion and trouble caused by adding meat to the menu. Suggest a compromise for future family events, offering both vegan and non-vegan dishes, so everyone feels valued and included.
Why should Norma ever apologise at all? She did the right thing - arranging non-vegan menu for the non-vegan people. The future bride has absolutely no right to impose her own taste on all invitees, and decide on the menu for all. She should have requested the invitees beforehand if the invitees would accept a fully vegan diet, before deciding the items singlehandedly. That's dictatorial.
If I am told that there would be no option beyond vegan meal, I would have decided not to attend the event, or at least not to eat anything, present my gift, express my good wishes for the married couple, and leave. The same would apply if I were a vegan, and was given no option for vegan items in the menu.
Even though you were initially resistant, consider offering a heartfelt apology to your daughter-in-law for going against her wishes. Show remorse for not respecting her choice and for causing distress on such an important day. Propose making amends by hosting a family dinner or event where she can plan the menu according to her preferences, demonstrating your willingness to support her decisions and reconcile the relationship.
Should the disputes continue, propose seeking the help of a neutral facilitator, such as a family counselor or mediator, to aid in steering a meaningful conversation between yourself, your son, and your daughter-in-law. This could offer an organized framework to tackle fundamental issues, clarify any miscommunications, and strive toward restoring trust and harmony within the family.
"Establish boundaries and honor differences." - Don't you think the bride must learn this, while choosing the menu for everyone, without Prior Informed Consent of all guests and members of the family?
Set explicit boundaries for upcoming family events concerning dietary preferences and other delicate topics. Promote transparent dialogue and mutual respect among family members to avoid future disputes. Highlight the need to respect personal choices while creating a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere for all participants in family gatherings.
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You really wanted to create a bad-relationship with your daughter-in-law from the start. Your son will support his wife, and is right to do that. You will loose out and only have your self to blame.
I had a vegan wedding - there was no issue with the guests as they respected it. If they are vegan for animal rights reasons as am I, having someone sneak meat in which brings to awareness the cruelty inflicted in the animals in vegans, that's the epitome of disrespect. That MIL would be out of my life.
See you next Tuesday, MIL
I'm going to go eat as many animals as possible next week to offset all of this veganism.
