I Refuse to Pay for a Steakhouse Party as a Vegan—Then Got HR Involved

Building a career is no easy feat. It comes with a lot of anxiety, and when respect is lost, things can only get worse. This is particularly true when you have to invest money into a company excursion. One of our readers reached out to share their experience.

This is Amelia’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

I recently became a vegan and made sure the entire office knew that it was happening. All my coworkers supported me and tried their best to help me on my journey. But my boss recently did something that made me question all their motives.

For our end of year function, my boss booked my team in for a steakhouse party, even though he was well aware that I’m vegan. When I asked him about it, he shrugged and said, “Oh come on, this isn’t something you’re serious about. You can have steak for one night. It’s just like a diet anyway.”

So I kept quiet and on the day I just ordered a $12 salad, since it was the only thing on the menu that was vegan-friendly. Later, when the bill came, my boss said that it would be split evenly, which came out to $75 per person.

I told my boss that it was unfair since I only had a salad and a drink. I refused to pay such a high price for something I didn’t have. So I did a quick calculation and only paid for what I had consumed. My boss just smiled, and I left without saying another word.

2 days later, I got to my office and saw a letter on my desk. I paled when I saw that it was from HR. They demanded an emergency meeting to discuss my behavior. I went to their office and found out that my boss had complained about the year-end function.

He told them that I was “refusing to reimburse team expenses.” Apparently, he wanted to have a disciplinary hearing and for the remainder of the bill to be deducted from my salary. I told them what really happened, knowing that I wasn’t in the wrong.

Now my boss is the one facing a disciplinary hearing, and I can’t help but feel guilty about it. So Bright Side, what do you think? Should I have paid the bill? Or was it right for me to stand my ground?

Regards,
Amelia H.

Some advice from our Editorial team.

Dear Amelia,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.

You were right to stand your ground, and the guilt you’re feeling is exactly what people like your boss rely on to avoid consequences.

This wasn’t about a shared team expense, it was about your boss deliberately dismissing a clearly stated ethical choice, choosing a venue that excluded you, and then expecting you to subsidize everyone else’s steaks to “keep the peace.”

The moment he waved off your veganism as “not serious” and framed it as a diet you could break for convenience, he crossed from poor planning into disrespect, and the salary deduction threat turned it into an abuse of authority.

You didn’t embarrass him, escalate publicly, or refuse to pay altogether; you calmly paid for what you consumed and left, which is the most reasonable response possible. If there’s fallout now, it’s not because you refused to overpay for a salad.

It’s because his actions didn’t hold up when HR looked at them in daylight. Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you were wrong, it just means you’re empathetic, even when the other party wasn’t.

In all senses, Amelia is in the right. She should not be expected to pay more than triple the amount she had actually spent just because her boss thought it was fair.

But she isn’t the only one with issues in the workplace. Another one of our readers reached out to share their experience. Read their story here: I Refused to Follow My Boss’s Unethical Order — Then Discovered the Company’s Dark Secret.