I Won’t Hand Over My Room to My Sick Grandson, Especially Not Since I Overheard My Daughter’s Shocking Plans

Family & kids
2 months ago
I Won’t Hand Over My Room to My Sick Grandson, Especially Not Since I Overheard My Daughter’s Shocking Plans

Salma welcomed her daughter and family into her home to help them save money, thinking it would be a short-term arrangement. But when her grandson’s health took a turn, a simple request soon had Salma wondering if there was more at play than just family support.

Dear Bright Side,

I’m writing to you because I’m feeling completely conflicted about a situation with my daughter and her family, and I’m hoping you can help me see things more clearly. I’m 57 and have lived in my house for over 25 years. It’s the home I’ve worked hard for, and it holds a lot of sentimental value to me.

About a year ago, my daughter (30) and her husband moved in with me to save money. I’ve been happy to help. They cover utilities, and I handle the mortgage. It’s been working fine, but recently, things have taken a turn.

My grandson, Dominick, who’s eight, was diagnosed with a chronic illness that requires constant care. As a grandmother, I want to be as supportive as possible. Dominick is already staying in a guest room, which is fine.

But my daughter recently asked if I would move out of my master bedroom, claiming it would be better for Dominick since the room is bigger, has its own bathroom, and gets more sunlight. She said it would make caring for him easier, and that he’d feel more comfortable there.

I understood where she was coming from, and I do want to be flexible. I thought maybe it could work, but after thinking it over, I realized how attached I am to my room. It’s my sanctuary, the one place I can go to recharge now that the house is full.

So, I offered a different solution. Instead of me moving out, I suggested they could rearrange the guest room to accommodate any medical equipment Dominick might need. I told her that if they needed to adjust the space for Dominick’s comfort, I was happy to help with that.

But then, a week later, I overheard a conversation between my daughter and her husband that changed everything.

You honestly think your need is greater than that of a bedridden child? I think it's time to make way for the next generation.

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I heard her admit that their real plan wasn’t just for me to temporarily move out to help Dominick, it was about permanently taking my room. She said, “Once Mom moves, she won’t move back. She’ll get used to it, and then we can keep the big room for ourselves.”

I was shocked. This wasn’t about making Dominick more comfortable, it was about them pushing me out of my own home. When I confronted them, they accused me of being selfish and not caring about my grandson’s health. But to me, this felt like manipulation. They weren’t just asking for help with his comfort, they were trying to claim my space.

Now, things are tense. My daughter and I aren’t speaking much, and some relatives are calling me heartless for not giving up my room. I can’t shake the feeling that I dodged a huge trap, but none of this is Dominick’s fault, and the doubts are starting to creep in.

Am I wrong for refusing to give up my room for my sick grandson? Did my attachment to my space rightfully come first? How can I balance my desire to help with the need to protect my personal space without coming across as selfish?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and maybe others’ perspectives as well.

Thank you for your time and understanding.

Warmly,
Salma

Salma’s desire to help her sick grandson clashed with her need to protect her space in a home she had worked for decades to build. When her daughter’s request took a shocking turn, Salma was left questioning her family’s true motives. Should she have sacrificed her sanctuary, or is she right to stand her ground?

Should Salma give up her room?

I would get them out now, they are trying to remove you from the house, and don't sign anything

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Agree. They are being very manipulative. Why should she just hand over the home she worked for years to buy and keep? Her daughter sounds very entitled, selfish, and manipulative. They want to steal her home. I have no idea who these relatives are, who agree with her daughter. The boy is perfectly fine, perfectly comfortable in the guest room. He has two strong legs and can walk the extra feet to the bathroom down the hall.

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Toss their asses out the door with a legal eviction! Then they can't fight it! Funny it started out "give it to the kid for comfort" then ended up " the room will be ours forever!" So this whole "here to save money" was all just a ruse to steal your house!?! GET THEM OUT NOW!

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You need to ask them to leave. They will try to take your house and put you in a home. It's not about a room anymore but your home. They are manipulating family.

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Absolutely do not give up your room. Your family is guilt tripping you. Tell them if the accommodations aren't satisfactory, find their own house.

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Keep your master bedroom. This wasn't about a sick grandchild. This was about your daughter wanting your room for her and her husband. It's your house. You are 57, they are young, in their 30s. Tell them they can either deal with a smaller room or move out, their choice. Refuse to let them bully you about it. They are entitled and thinking only of their own wants/needs but not considering yours and calling you selfish. Tell them you aren't willing to deal with the tension in your own home either. If they can't act like grateful guests in your home, they can leave.

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Call lawyer and kick them out from your home. Also write will your wealth only to your grandchildren, not their parents, and only given to your grandchildren after their parents died.

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Why should her "kids" enjoy her home? She let them move in to save money not TAKE OVER. And before someone comes for me, I have More than enough experience with this issue. I worked as a private home care provider for almost 30 years and that was AFTER working in nursing homes. I took care of 2 of my 3 MILS (I was widowed twice) and 1FIL. I have helped families move around the living quarters and spaces to make it comfortable for the ill person. Then the person that was moved out got sick too. Oops, no one wants to move around anymore. This woman needs to put herself first because if she doesn't her KIDS will put her in a nursing home and have HER HOUSE all to themselves. I have seen it happen so many times. I am aware that it sounds cruel but her kids are not kids, they need to realize that they have no right to push her out, they should remember that she didn't even have to take them in.

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Maybe it's time her loser daughter and her loser husband who can't even support his own family get their own place to live and not try to steal a home she worked her whole life for. People like you need mental help to stop being suckered and doormats!

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Yep. They've had a year to save up money to put a down payment on their own place. Tell them to leave and change your locks. If they refuse, legally evict them

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Are you kidding me? She didn't just "enjoy" the home, she earned it! She put in years of hard work to be able to afford it, and worked for years to continue to be able to pay the mortgage , the taxes, the repairs and everything else that comes with home ownership. Now you expect her to just hand it over to her entitled, manipulative, unemployed daughter and her equally rotten husband? And where is she supposed to go so that they can "enjoy" it? Go live in a tiny little apartment while she's still paying for the mortgage on the house? Because as I said before, the couple are both unemployed and will have no need to filing employment as long as they can continue to graft off of her mother.
Would YOU just hand over *your* house because your grown child decided that it was time for *her* to enjoy it? If you believe that, then you've never had to work a day in your life and have had everything handed to you. You 've.never earned anything, just had it handed to you. But even if you've just had something handed to you, I highly doubt that you'd be willing to simply hand it over for someone else to enjoy.

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How's about the daughter and husband buy their own house to enjoy! She's 57, not 97. She can enjoy HER house for as long as she wants.

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Salma’s already been more than generous, letting her daughter and her family move in, but now they want her room. It’s not just about a bigger bed, it’s about her space, her sanctuary for over 25 years. And now, knowing the real plan, how can she possibly give that up?

But then, Dominick’s health is at stake. It’s heartbreaking to see him suffer, and maybe her room would make his recovery a little easier. Still, does that make it okay for her to lose what’s hers? It’s a tough call. Should Salma put family first, or hold firm?

Is Salma entitled to her own space?

If the grandson is truly sick, there should have been a better way to handle this as a family. Kicking someone out of their own room isn’t the solution

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Everyone needs their own space, right? It’s where we can relax, recharge, and feel like ourselves. Salma’s house is where she’s built her life for over two decades. Doesn’t she have the right to keep that one corner of peace to herself?

But some might argue that in a family, personal space is a bit more flexible. Isn’t part of being family about sharing, even when it’s uncomfortable? Maybe the idea of personal space becomes secondary when others need it more. Can we really claim it as our “right” when family’s involved?

How can Salma avoid coming across as selfish?

No you're not selfish, you're protecting your property and sanity. Your daughter and son-in-law are the ones who are selfish. I think that if they're concerned about their son's health, the three of you can sit down together and figure out a way of putting his medical equipment in there while maintaining space to move around and having sunlight shining in.

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Salma’s got a tricky situation on her hands. If she sticks to her guns, she might seem like she’s more focused on her own comfort than helping her family. But how far should she go before it feels like she’s losing too much?

But maybe she’s not being selfish at all. She’s worked hard for her space and has every right to keep it. Although isn’t there a point where being too firm could make her seem unsympathetic, especially when her grandson’s health is at stake? Is there a way to compromise without looking cold?

Salma’s not alone in facing difficult family decisions. Many of us struggle to balance personal space with family needs. If you’ve ever had to make a tough call between family and personal boundaries, check out this article on how one grandmother faced a similar dilemma.

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We only know one part of the story. Somehow Salma did raise a manipulator in her daughter. Did the daughter learn it from her?

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This is such a heartbreaking situation, It’s sad when family starts treating elders like obstacles instead of loved ones. Everyone loses in that kind of mindset

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