Hey, bookishowl, she ABSOLUTELY MEANT to hurt her. 17 years of friendship(?) or not, that is NOT A FRIENDLY GESTURE, it is a SLAP IN THE FACE. If she meant it as an HONOR, she would not have made the remarks about "some people not liking it". She would not have hurt her friend, especially in public. If she was embarrassed it was HER OWN DOING, because she is an IGNORANT COW. Continuing the "friendship" is giving her permission to treat her friend like crap ANY TIME SHE WANTS TO. If she was SO IN LOVE WITH THE NAME, she would have said so a long time ago. Naming your dog Fido and your friend's dog is Fido can be cute. Naming your child after the one that your friend LOST is BEYOND CRUEL, it smacks of sociopathy. This "friend" needs mental health intervention, and a lesson in empathy. Then she needs a kick in the ass and a smack upside her head, with a baseball bat.
My BFF Invited Me to Her Baby Shower, It Turned Into My Worst Nightmare

After years of infertility, Maja’s best friend finally became a mom, and Maja couldn’t be happier. She supported her, celebrated with her, even planned to be the baby’s godmother. But one shocking announcement at the baby shower turned Maja’s joy into the worst day of her life.
Here’s an email from Maja and the story she shared with us:
Dear Bright Side,
I feel that I need support and advice so badly, this is why I decided to share my story online.
So, my best friend of 17 years, Michelle, finally had a baby after years of infertility. I was genuinely over the moon for her: helped her through the pregnancy, bought her expensive baby gifts, and was planning to be the godmother.
At her baby shower, I stood up to say a few words, just to congratulate her and say how happy I was. But she suddenly interrupted me mid-sentence, took the mic, and said, “Now, it’s time for a big surprise. We’ve decided to name the baby Annabelle, and this is non-negotiable, though I know someone might not like it.” Then she looked straight at me with this smug little smile.
Here’s the thing: three years ago, my daughter, also named Annabelle, passed away in her sleep when she was 5 months old. SIDS. It destroyed me.
My friend was there through it all, she knows how hard it was for me to even say that name for years. When we talked about baby names before, she told me she’d probably go with Anna. So when she said Annabelle in front of everyone, it felt like a punch to the chest.
I didn’t make a scene. I just quietly left the shower and went home crying. I couldn’t even breathe, let alone pretend it was “a nice tribute.”
Now she keeps calling and texting, saying I embarrassed her, that I should be happy she “honored” my daughter. My parents and sister think I’m being dramatic and that it’s actually a sweet gesture. But my husband agrees with me, this was cruel.
She didn’t ask me, didn’t warn me, just dropped it in public for attention. I don’t even know how to look at that baby or hear that name without reliving the worst pain of my life.
So, dear Bright Side, am I overreacting here? Or did my “best friend” cross a massive line?
Here’s what Bright Side readers think about Maja’s tough situation:
- mara.june24
That was absolutely cruel of her. Naming her baby after your deceased child without even talking to you first? And announcing it like that in public? No, that’s not a tribute — that’s a power move. You have every right to distance yourself. - guy_in_a_bluehoodie
I’m torn. On one hand, I totally get how painful that must’ve been. On the other, maybe she genuinely thought it was a way to honor your daughter and didn’t realize how triggering it would be. Some people are just clueless about grief. - c0ffee_dr1pper
This was not a “sweet gesture.” It was attention-seeking. She made sure everyone saw your reaction, that’s why she said “someone might not like it.” That line says it all. Stay away from her.
- bookishowl1990
Honestly, I don’t think she meant to hurt you. Maybe she just fell in love with the name again and didn’t think through how it would affect you. If you two have been best friends for 17 years, maybe try to talk it out instead of cutting her off completely. - neon.frogs
I think your family’s wrong here. “Tribute” only works when both sides understand and agree. Doing it behind your back and springing it on you in front of people? That’s manipulative. - hopefuldad75
As a parent who’s lost a child, I felt this in my bones. That name would never be “just a name” again. Your reaction was human, not harsh. Anyone saying otherwise has never grieved like that.

To all of you morons who think "she took it too hard" , let's see how you behave when someone MAKES LIGHT OF your GREATEST LOSS, and then BLAMES YOU FOR EMBARRASSING THEM. You ALL BELONG AT THE BOTTOM OF A BOTTOMLESS PIT! YOU ARE DESPICABLE AND DISGUSTING HUMAN (NOT) BEINGS.
- tiny_sundae
You definitely should’ve talked to her later instead of walking out, though. I get that you were hurt, but leaving the party probably made everyone focus on you, which might’ve embarrassed her more. - crystal.fern
She could’ve named her baby anything. Out of all the names in the world, she picked that one? And made it a public “surprise”?
No. That’s not friendship. That’s emotional sabotage. - 4am_thinker
I can kind of see both sides here. It’s possible she saw it as honoring your daughter, but she handled it terribly. No heads-up, no sensitivity, and the way she announced it — yeah, that’s what makes it wrong.
Here’s what Bright Side team would like to say to Maja:

I feel if you spend enough time away from her you will see that she's been toxic all along. It didn't just happen overnight. She most likely has been covertly toxic all along. Either way, you have every single right in the world to go no contact from her. She knows exactly what she did to you. I had to go no contact from a friend of 17 years myself! As soon as I did I saw how much I poured into it, while she did nothing but give me backhanded compliments and toxicity. Self preservation is an absolute. What she did to you was unforgivable in my opinion. I'm so sorry she did that to you. I hope things get better for you without your frenemy...
Dear Maja,
Thank you for trusting us and sharing such a deeply personal and painful story. It takes strength to open up about something like this. What happened at that baby shower wasn’t just about a name; it was about being blindsided in public by someone you thought would protect your wounds, not reopen them. You don’t owe forgiveness to someone who turned your grief into a stage moment.
Right now, give yourself space, not to punish her, but to protect yourself. If she truly values your friendship, she’ll understand that healing requires silence, not pressure. Later, when you’re ready, you can decide whether this friendship can be rebuilt on empathy instead of ego. But for now, it’s okay to step away: sometimes love doesn’t end with a fight, it ends with realizing who stopped being gentle with your pain.
— Yours, Bright Side team
Terry, 35, wrote to our editorial team, and her story hit like a punch to the gut. She lives by one rule: never mix family and money. So when her niece fell critically ill and her sister begged for help, Terry said no.
What followed will make you question where loyalty ends and self-preservation begins. Read her story here, and we bet you’ll have an opinion to share!
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