I Let My Son Invite His Stepmom to His Party, but My Ex Made Me Regret It

Relationships with exes tend to get messy when the new love interest gets involved, especially if things become too friendly. Take this woman’s story, for instance. Befriending her son’s stepmom created trouble with her ex, but is she in the wrong?

She got along well with her son’s stepmom.

The woman writes, “My ex and I divorced seven years ago after he cheated. He married his affair partner, and they had a baby together. Despite the past, she was a great stepmom to our 9-year-old son, and we all got along.

But recently, my son told me he didn’t like going to his dad’s anymore because his dad and stepmom were always fighting—so much so that his dad stopped coming home.”

Things turned south just a few days before the birthday.

She continues, “Then, my son asked to have his birthday party at my house and invited his stepmom and her daughter. Since we were on good terms with both, I happily agreed. Soon after, she called me, begging to stay with me.

Confused, I asked my son what was going on. He said my ex had kicked her out after she discovered he’d gotten her best friend pregnant. I immediately offered her our spare room. She was beyond grateful and even helped throw my son an amazing birthday party, complete with the game console he’d been begging for.

But when my ex showed up, with his new girlfriend, he exploded. He threatened to take me to court for ’endangering’ our son by letting her stay, and accused me of siding with ’the enemy.’ Am I in the wrong?”

You were being compassionate.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Firstly, you were generous enough to offer the stepmom a place to stay despite her being the woman that your ex cheated on you with. That takes a lot of compassion. You did the right thing, helping her at a time where she feels betrayal from her soon-to-be ex’s unfaithfulness.

Your son is your priority.

Right now, your son should be your number one priority. The best thing you can do for him is provide stability and reassurance. Let him know that none of this is his fault, that he’s allowed to care about his stepmom and half-sibling, and that your home is a safe space where he won’t be put in the middle of grown-up problems.

Dealing with your ex.

While having the stepmom at your house was a great act of kindness, you should’ve informed your ex that she and her daughter would be present at the party. Other than that, you don’t have to justify helping someone who was suddenly left with nowhere to go. In addition, try to keep conversations focused solely on your son, and don’t let yourself get dragged into unnecessary drama.

Ultimately, this isn’t about who’s right or wrong—it’s about what’s best for your child. Protecting him from all the noise should be your focus.

There are a lot of things mothers do to keep their children from harm. Just look at what this woman did to her MIL’s puppy.