I Refuse to Be MIL’s Caregiver After She Crossed the Line

Caring for someone is an act of love, and it happens with close relationships like family. Jane, our Bright Side reader, is a selfless person who loves and cares unconditionally for people special to her, including her in-laws. However, a sudden revelation has shaken her, which might result in burning bridges.

With a heavy heart, Jane shared her story.

When I got married to my husband, I moved out of my hometown to live with them. I made the decision because it was practical. We got a house, it’s near my workplace, and it is only an hour away from my hometown.

It was a smooth-sailing married life, as I was on good terms with my in-laws way before marriage. My husband is great and takes good care of me and his family. Being the eldest, he’s a responsible and loving man. I sometimes help with errands on their farm business too when I have a day off, because my husband manages it.

But two years ago, my mother-in-law, Marga, fell ill.

It unexpectedly happened that Jane was asked by her husband for a favor.

After MIL became ill, my husband asked me if I could quit my job to take care of his mother. I was taken aback and asked why someone like me has to do it? He has 3 other siblings. He explained that his siblings can’t go home because two of them are in another city, and the youngest is currently pregnant. While he will be taking over her mother’s work, no one is available.

But what about my job? Should he have to suggest that I quit? I felt as if I was sacrificing a part of me. He tried to convince me by saying that he needs me, and we have to do it. He also said that he can support our family and will provide for our needs, given that I will be quitting my job. I sighed as I gave myself a minute to think about the decision I should make.

My in-laws were kind to me, my husband is right that he can provide for me since we still don’t have a child. I do love Marga, as she was the one who brought my husband into this world. And I think this would be a big help for her and my husband if a family takes care of her. I think I can go back to my job with a proper notice, so I should focus on the current situation.

With her decision, she dedicated all her time to taking care of Marga.

I’ve looked after my MIL for two years —caregiving, appointments, and even her grandkids. Yes, I took care of her grandkids whenever they visited, since their parents would just drop them off at Marga’s house. I gave my best to nurse her back to health. Even though it’s exhausting because during those two years, she became too sensitive, and everything that she says results in saying harsh and insensitive words to me.

And one day, I accidentally overheard her conversation talking about giving everything to my husband’s three siblings and nothing to us. No inheritance out of all of our sacrifices for her? My chest tightened by this information that I had to leave her house. I don’t know if I should tell my husband about it, but I decided not to because I don’t have any evidence to prove it, and just cause conflict.

What she knew has bothered her so much for the past days, but what happened next shattered her.

For the past few days, it has bothered me, causing me to feel more stressed. So, I took a break and went to my friend’s place. Then I got a call from my husband, he sounded so angry when he asked me where I was. And when I told him that I’m at a friend’s place, he then said that Marga was right and hung up.

Worried about the call, I immediately went home and asked my husband what that was all about. He sighed, and what he revealed broke me. Marga told him, “You don’t think she’s having an affair, do you?” That led him to speculate and question me during the call. How could he think of me like that, even for a second? I am sacrificing all of my time and energy for Marga, and he believed that I was having an affair.

I was speechless, as for Marga’s statement, I feel so disappointed. I ignored harsh words thrown at me, I quit my job to care for her, and I even delayed our plans to have a baby just so I could focus on her. I felt betrayed, she disrespected me while turning a blind eye to how irresponsible her kids are for leaving all of the responsibility to us.

What hurt more was that she said it in front of my husband, and he reacted against me. I am now thinking if he stayed silent when she said things like this before, or his attitude made her feel like it was okay to say them. He claimed that he shut her down right away, but I’m not sure if I should believe it.

Part of me thinks he had doubts too, and only told me what she said to see how I’d react or justify myself. I’m broken. I told him I’m done, I won’t care for her anymore. I told him to talk to his siblings. Either they step in, or I’m out for good. I just feel so done, drained, and used at this point.

I have no idea what will happen in the next days, but I know that it will be exhausting. For now, I want space from everyone, probably go back to my hometown, and heal the fatigue I’ve accumulated these past two years. I’d like to focus on myself first and brace for what the future holds.

No one wants to feel or experience being disrespected, but just like Jane, Nathalie was in the same boat. She thought that her husband had gotten her back, but when she was humiliated, her husband decided not to side with her. Find out what happened with this link.