I’m Childfree, but My Boyfriend Refuses to Accept It and Keeps Forcing Me to Have Kids

Few topics divide people as much as one simple question: “Kids or no kids?” That’s exactly what pushed one of our readers to write to us. She thought she and her boyfriend were on the same page from day one, until he suddenly brought up something that shook the entire foundation of their relationship. Now she’s frustrated and trying to understand how everything changed so fast.

We invite you to read what Liora wrote to us.

"Hi Bright Side,

I’m not good at writing, so sorry if this comes out messy. I just really need help because my brain won’t shut up, and I feel like I’m drowning in this.

I’m Liora, 28, and I live in Colorado. I grew up in foster homes, bouncing around everywhere. Nothing stable. Nothing safe. A lot of yelling, a lot of pretending things were fine when they weren’t. So ever since I was old enough to think my own thoughts, I decided I wouldn’t have kids. I don’t have it in me. And honestly, I don’t want to risk putting a kid through even a tiny bit of what I went through.

So yeah, I decided young that I was going to be childfree. And I’ve always been clear about it. Brutally clear.

Then two years ago I met Rowan. And, he was everything. Charming, gentle, funny. When we started dating, I told him on the second date: “I don’t want kids. Ever.” He nodded and said: “Totally fine. We’ll just enjoy life.”

I let myself believe him. That’s on me, I guess.

A few months ago, he started making “jokes” like, “Wouldn’t it be cute if we had a little one running around?” or “I think you’d be such a good mom.”

I always shut it down. Politely at first, then less politely because he just wouldn’t drop it. But last week everything exploded.

We were having dinner and out of nowhere he said: “I need to be honest. I’m actually thinking... maybe we should take a break if you’re really never going to reconsider.”

I swear I felt the floor disappear under me.

What made me snap wasn’t even the idea of losing him, it was that he said it like I had tricked him, like he hadn’t known this from day one. I literally told him before I even told him my favorite band.

I asked, “So you thought you’d just change my mind?” And he said: “I hoped love would change you. I thought you just needed the right partner to feel safe having a family.”

That... hurt. Deep. Like he took everything I went through as a “challenge” he could fix.

We argued all night. He cried. I cried. He said he didn’t want to pressure me, but also that he “can’t live without being a dad.” And now he’s distant. Cold. We barely talk.

Here’s the horrible part: I caught myself googling things like “Can someone learn to want a baby?” or “Is it selfish to stay childfree if your partner wants kids?”

I hate that I’m even thinking like this. I feel betrayed, cornered, and stupid. Mostly stupid.

I told him the truth from the beginning. He fell in love anyway. He made me feel safe. He made me believe I wasn’t “broken.” And now he’s acting like I’ve ruined his life.

And I keep wondering: Should I change for him? Should I force myself into motherhood just to keep the person I love? Is it wrong to hold onto my values if it means losing him? Am I being cruel? Or is he?

I really need to know if I’m the bad one here, because I can’t stop thinking maybe I’m letting my trauma run my life. And at the same time... maybe he’s letting his dream run over me.

Thanks for reading this messy rant. I honestly don’t know what to do."

Some readers refused to stay silent and shared their most unfiltered opinions.

• SuburbanVibes47: I’m a father of two, and honestly? You did the right thing being upfront. The problem is he didn’t take you seriously. That’s on him, not you. You can’t build a stable family when one person is treating parenthood like a negotiation tactic.
• PettySpaghetti: Red flag city.
• Desertspasparrow32: I think you’re incredibly brave for being honest about not wanting kids. Most people just go with the flow and end up miserable. But at the same time... he deserves to have kids if that’s his dream. You two may love each other, but love alone does NOT solve fundamental incompatibilities. Trust me, my marriage crashed for this exact reason.
• OvercaffeinatedJennn: Why do men think "I’ll change her mind’ is romantic?? It’s creepy!!!
• DukeOfDrama40: Okay but he told you how he feels now. You’re both allowed to want different things.
• ChaosCandleLila: HE WAITED UNTIL YOU WERE ATTACHED. That’s the whole problem.
• FuzzyLogic88_41: I stayed with someone who wanted kids when I didn’t. I caved. It ruined my mental health, my relationship, and honestly, my connection with my daughter. She deserved a mother who wanted the role, not one who felt cornered. Please don’t force yourself into motherhood to keep a man.

Our take on Liora’s situation.

Deciding not to have children is a legitimate, increasingly common choice, not a “fallback” or a “problem.” Recent research confirms that being childfree by choice isn’t rare. And it’s also worth noting that having children doesn’t guarantee happiness or life satisfaction. A 2025 study found that while parents often report a stronger sense of meaning in life, they do not report higher life satisfaction than adults without children.

Pressuring someone into parenthood based on personal expectations, romantic ideals, or guilt is risky. Investigations show that subjective well-being among parents depends heavily on social, economic, and relational conditions: without support, stress and dissatisfaction are more likely.

If you relate to the fear of motherhood (perhaps because of past trauma, concern for mental health, or a desire for freedom), know this: choosing not to be a parent doesn’t make you less worthy, less mature, or less loving. On the contrary, owning your decision with honesty and integrity shows emotional maturity. You have the right to build the life you want, with or without children.

In the end, what matters is authenticity: a child deserves a parent who truly wants them. And you deserve a life aligned with your values, even if that means saying “no.”

There’s no easy answer here, and both partners are facing something huge. What do you think: should she stick to her decision, or is there room for compromise? Share your thoughts! And If you want another real story about the challenges families face, we recommend this one about a mother who planned a special moment with her daughter, only for her husband to ruin it in the most terrible way possible.